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Author Topic: Workplace & Shadchanim
2funny

Dating Maven

Posts: 69
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Post Workplace & Shadchanim

Wherever I go to work there are always people asking me how old are you? and are you dating?and if so what type of guy are you looking for? etc....
I always find it uncomfortable because in my workplace full of heimishe Jewish people, I feel that they are just getting a little too personal with me. I feel like all they are doing is getting into my personal life and I dont like that if they are not actually going to look for anyone for me. I appreciate those who ask and then are actually active in finding me a shidduch.
Then, when other ladies say to me "I have a son but he is in Yeshivah..." oooooooh uncomfortable, then why did you ask me?

What are your thoughts and how should I respond to these situations?

Bayla

Dating Maven

Posts: 84
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Post Re: Workplace & Shadchanim

Okay, so I may have a safe route for you..but before I begin I try to tell myself that there are so many well meaning yet insensitive people out there. But just tell yourself that that it is all part of the Nisayon! Back to what I was saying you should just smile and tell them that if they have any ideas your mother takes care of your shidduchim. That's a perfectly normal thing to say. And remember that there will always be Yentas out there..and you know what, they are not only in your business but everybody else too. I am sure that they are asking their friends inappropriate questions whether it be about their income,personal life,childbirth, spouse relationship ect. Just smile and move on..I have learned that in my years of dating.

tryingsoha-
rd

Dater

Posts: 41
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Post Re: Workplace & Shadchanim

Good one, Bayla.

Yes, just smile sweetly and don't say anything. Can't go wrong with that.

The question that drives me crazy is when random people come up to you and ask your age- when that happens in the work place it's especially patronizing.

At work, you should be considered an adult and you try to function like one and be taken seriously. When people ask you these personal questions, it makes you feel like you are 16 years old again.

The age thing is my pet peeve... and totally throws me off. I think it's so rude.

A friend of mine always answers 'How old are you?' with 'I date guys between the ages of X and X' (with a big smile). And just keeps on repeating herself, until the person asking gets the message that she doesn't want to answer the question. Sometimes it helps to say that 'when you have a concrete idea, let's talk because that will be a much more productive conversation'...
ugh. Sorry, I'm just venting...

heyhey

Dating Maven

Posts: 191
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Post Re: Workplace & Shadchanim

so annoying!!! i hate it. C'mon people lets be sensitive!

heyhey

Dating Maven

Posts: 191
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Post Re: Workplace & Shadchanim

btw. i tell people... that i am looking for what everyone is looking for. than they usually shut up. if they continue i say you know, good middos, good learner etc.

Avigail

Dating Maven

Posts: 130
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Post Re: Workplace & Shadchanim

heyhey: WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU SAYING???? I think you should smile and say "how nice? thanks! us girls in shidduchim ( no pun intended... but hey, LOL) can't afford to say anything "off" you gotta be careful.

tryingsoha-
rd

Dater

Posts: 41
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Post Re: Workplace & Shadchanim

You can always make a joke and go tongue in cheek and just say, well you know, I'm looking for someone tall, dark, handsome and of course rich! They will laugh and hopefully it will diffuse the situation... if you are very lucky they might get the message...

Avigail

Dating Maven

Posts: 130
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Post Re: Workplace & Shadchanim

omG that is awesome!!! tall dark and handsome is the way to go!!!

btw.... make sure to give them a big smile though at the end. 🙂 with shiduchim these days you must be VERY careful!!!

2funny

Dating Maven

Posts: 69
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Post Re: Workplace & Shadchanim

Thanks everyone. I like your suggestions. 🙂
But it's so true. You really have to watch what you say because every second these people are judging you by the way you act, dress, speak ......and the list goes on.

Bayla

Dating Maven

Posts: 84
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Post Re: Workplace & Shadchanim

I love that avigail!!! That's definitely the route I'm gonna route take next time!

tryingsoha-
rd

Dater

Posts: 41
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Post Re: Workplace & Shadchanim

Quote from Bayla on January 22, 2013, 11:36 AM
I love that avigail!!! That's definitely the route I'm gonna route take next time!

Ahem...

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