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Author Topic: Conversation skills over the phone
daysfan24

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Posts: 134
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Post Conversation skills over the phone
on: September 30, 2014, 8:20 PM

So I'm talking to this guy over the phone and we also skyped once. We have no met yet but are planning to meet very soon, IY"H. Anyways, I noticed all the times I talked to him on the phone, the conversation is kinda of one sided. I don't mean to say he talks only about himself, he will ask me questions. But when I do answer- he doesn't really say much or doesn't expand and ask me more questions about what I said, but kinda of continues with the same topic but says something about himself.

Has anyone had this?

Furthermore- I'm thinking he might be a shy guy or just an introvert, since I can sense he's soft spoken etc. I'm more outgoing and talkative. I'm just curious if anyone else has this same issue. Not the oh do introverts and extroverts get along because I know they certainly can. But more did anyone else have this issue where you thought the conversation was lacking. Did it get better? I'm just worried also are conversation won't be that great when we meet and it won't be enough to maintain a good flowy conversation.

blueberry

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Post Re: Conversation skills over the phone
on: October 2, 2014, 12:54 PM

Speaking on the phone before meeting can be really awkward but then again, meeting someone first can also be awkward..... I never had a phone experience like that but I once had an experience where a guy talked a lot about himself on a first date and didnt really ask me much about myself or any questions about what i was saying. On the second date it got much better. I think he was just afraid of a possible awkward silence. Everyone has a different tolerance for silence, some people have no tolerance and some ppl have an easier time jsut enjoying the other ones company. Also, the silence gets less awkward as time goes on so it makes sense that he wouldnt want any silence yet at this point and does everything he can to make sure there is always something being said. To you, this may come off as being more into himself or not being interested in you. I think meeting him will help a lot cuz body language will help you see what his motivation is.
Good luck!

daysfan24

Dating Maven

Posts: 134
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Post Re: Conversation skills over the phone
on: October 2, 2014, 7:34 PM

Thanks Blueberry for your input! And so true, sometimes it takes a while for a person to open up. You never know. Each person works differently.

Esther

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Post Re: Conversation skills over the phone
on: October 5, 2014, 9:15 PM

I've never had a skype date or phone date before meeting a guy, but I may have a suggestion for you though. Did you try bouncing questions back at him? I know with myself sometimes I'll have no problem making conversation and asking people about things, but I'll find myself forgetting to share my experiences also. Good luck and I'd love to hear more about skype dating. Did you do it since he's far away? Did you feel like you looked and were acting like yourself?

daysfan24

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Posts: 134
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Post Re: Conversation skills over the phone
on: October 7, 2014, 9:44 AM

Hi Esther- Yes I actually did. And I actually interjected sometimes and said things even though he didn't ask. We actually went out and it didn't work out unfortunately. I actually did notice it was the same on the date. It could be a personality thing or a chemistry problem. Not sure which one. But we also lived in two different states, so it was hard to continue on a maybe from both of us. Thanks for the well wishes though!

As far as skyping goes- I've done quite a number of them. Yes, because of distance we did the skyping. Usuaully it's the guy that wants to just to make sure that he sees you before making a trip. I personally don't really like them, as I don't feel so comfortable. It's not the same quality, people don't exactly look the same. And it's really true, I mean you can get an idea, but really it's definitely different in person and I've seen that. I don't think they count for much, but that's just my opinion. But it can be worth it if both parties live at a great distance from each other.

Feel free to ask me anything else!

justdoit

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Post Re: Conversation skills over the phone
on: November 2, 2014, 1:23 PM

I feel like for the future. I personally nearly went out with someone I spoke to him on the phone one hour two days in a row and the third day even though we had not met yet, he texted me to tell me he was diagnosed with bipolar thatday. I would say that there are a few key things when taliking to boys that girls may often forget.
1. They will rarely if ever notice your hair cut or outfit. They will notice your body figure and that is no matter how frum they are. Thats why many guys want full body pictures.
2. They do not really notice detail so much. The key way to think about this is to try looking from a global perspective.
3. Guys in general even mir bochurim if they see a for even if not interested in her at all will be able to flirt with her for hours. This is just their nature. I had that happen and its devastating.
4. Guys may be into sports so asking what their favorite sports teams are is a good conversation starter. Ask what they like about them. Show interest.
5. Women are not usually into sports statistics and that is what feeds the stereotype of not taking women to athletic games. If your interested in going to one some leagues have tickets as cheap as $10 and then its just a matter of paying for transit and parking.
6. Ask him about his job... and family.
these should be good ways to keep conversations going. If the guy tries avoid talking about these subjects then to a certain point he may be an introvert or there may be a red flag.

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