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Author Topic: Walking To The Door
Bracha

Dating Maven

Posts: 62
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Post Walking To The Door

Is he supposed to walk me to the door or not? Sometimes a boy does, and sometimes not. If he doesn't, my mother always thinks it means something negative. Is this true?

Esti

Dating Maven

Posts: 59
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Post Re: Walking To The Door

From my experience, if the boy doesn't walk me to the door, it's a no.

Miriam

Dating Maven

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Post Re: Walking To The Door

When I saw this comment I just had to add my input. Walking the girl to the door means nothing at all about the guy. Of course we girls like that feeling that it gives us..like that he cares that we get in safely. But at the end of the day we all need to agree that if he was never told to do it he should not be expected too. You can compare it to opening the car door for the girl, if he didn't know that is the socially accepted thing to do, he wouldn't do it..so what I am saying is that you should not determine if the guy likes you or if the date went well or not based on if he walks you to the door. I have had great dates with great guys while the date ended wishing each other a good night in the car..so think about it.

Miriam

Dating Maven

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Post Re: Walking To The Door

It's so much more normal if he does not walk you to the door because then it's a whole opportunity again for the whole neighborhood to see you. It keeps things quiter when you say good bye in the car. I personally prefer that!

tryingsoha-
rd

Dater

Posts: 41
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Post Re: Walking To The Door

I disagree with Miriam up there.
Walking you to the door/car, means at the very least, (1) that he wants to spend another few minutes with you.
It could also mean any of the following:
2) that he is anxious to please you (always a good thing)
3) that he is a gentleman (or has a mother who brought him up right/sisters who told him what to do)
4) that he cares to make sure you are safe

When all or some of these things are in place, but he isn't sure if it's ok to walk you, the guy can always ask you if it's ok to walk you to the door.
Walking you to the door is generally considered a menchlich thing to do.

O, and by the way, my dates usually end after it's dark so I'm generally not that worried about people seeing me, and for those that do... well, it's not a crime to provide my bored neighbors with some entertainment 😉 ... after all, they don't have TV's, and that way, at least my DOA date was good for something lol.
As another aside, if you are over the age of 18, then surely it's better to be seen on a date once every so often... then never to be seen on a date??? after all, it's not a crime to be dating?? and maybe your neighbor's mind might get jogged to get it together and suggest someone for you!

Bayla

Dating Maven

Posts: 84
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Post Re: Walking To The Door

Wow, I wish I thought like you! How many years of dating did it take to be so mature about people seeing you on dates?

tryingsoha-
rd

Dater

Posts: 41
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Post Re: Walking To The Door

Hey Bayla,
I've been dating for a verrry long time (I think you'd freak out if I told you). At some point, I just realized that I might as well enjoy the ride... even if I don't think I'm gonna marry the guy, I might as well enjoy the date and if people see me? ... well, at least let them have enjoyment from watching me... after all, don't we all love watching dates when we're not on one?
If I'm not going to get married from this, at least let some good come out of it!
O, and the neighbors... ugh- who cares about them?
You just need to not let it get to you- and not care so much about what everyone does or doesn't think. Honestly, I've realized half the time they don't think about you at all, and when they do... it doesn't last for more than about 10-20 seconds. Just ignore everyone. Get on with your life... and do your best.

Bayla

Dating Maven

Posts: 84
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Post Re: Walking To The Door

Wow, and you seem so B'simcha! Your amazing! To look and find the positive in all this is truly unbelievable! I am sure that you have lots of valuable advice for all of us! So many times we think people are watching our every move and you wish they cared that much about you! People do go on with their lives as you wrote..

tryingsoha-
rd

Dater

Posts: 41
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Post Re: Walking To The Door

Bayla, thanks for the compliment (trust me, I can use them). I'm really not that B'simcha- I struggle with it a lot.

But when I'm on a date, I don't have a choice... if I want to come off looking good (ie make the best impression possible, even if I realized that he's not my husband) I need to have this type of positive attitude... at least while I'm out on a date...
Once I get home, it's another story... 😉

Avigail

Dating Maven

Posts: 130
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Post Re: Walking To The Door

trying so hard: wow!!! you seem impressive. i guess Bayla is not the only one who feels this way!!! but let's say he just simply forgets? doesnt that happen to the best of us.

I like the line about dates that are DOA!!! I had wayyyy to many of those. hopefully soon i will be able to laugh at them.

tryingsoha-
rd

Dater

Posts: 41
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Post Re: Walking To The Door

Thanks Avigail! I didn't realize I'm building up a fanbase here- I only just joined LOL!

... the reason that I suggest the SDID (Sweet Damsel in Distress) approach is in case he is either clueless, or simply forgot... it will be a sweet reminder and he will be so happy that you reminded him and helped him be the gentleman he usually is...

Oops, just realized I was referring to a different post on a similar topic see http://www.inshidduchim.com/forums/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=21 for my comments on that one.

Smile91

Dater

Posts: 23
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Post Re: Walking To The Door

What's DOA? Anyway, I personally don't care to have the guy walk me to the door. I mean if he did it's okay, but wtvr... Once, a guy asked me if he should walk me to the door (when put that way, what's a girl to answer??) Anyway, I said nah, it's fine and I walked all by myself (wow, such a big, brave girl!) I had another guy walk me just up to my steps (I don't even know if he watched me go in or he just walked away, but wtvr..) definately think that's better than him walking me all the way up to door, I mean and then what? Does he have to talk to parents again? What if house is a mess (I mean cleaned for before date, but who's to keep it clean during?) I don't know, whole thing seems unnecessary, why can't he just watch that you get in safely from car?

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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Post Re: Walking To The Door

I think it's nice to be walked to the door. It feels like I'm being taken care of, which is how I want to feel. And feels like he enjoys being with me, and doesn't want to just drop me off.

Smile91

Dater

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Post Re: Walking To The Door
on: February 12, 2013, 9:24 PM

Okay, I hear that.

cool nerd

Dater

Posts: 44
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Post Re: Walking To The Door
on: February 13, 2013, 12:56 AM

Feigy, what if the guy waited until you were in your house safely before driving off? Would that make you feel taken care of too?

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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Post Re: Walking To The Door
on: February 13, 2013, 1:00 AM

Yes, and all the guys I have dated do just that. I would be actually quite turned off if they didn't. When you drop off a girl in the middle of the night, you should wait for her to get inside before you drive off.

kd2012

Dater

Posts: 11
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Post Re: Walking To The Door
on: February 13, 2013, 10:55 AM

i once had a guy drop me off and ride off while i was still closing the door. i almost tripped over myself! That was obviously a last date....

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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Post Re: Walking To The Door
on: February 13, 2013, 10:57 AM

Maybe he needed to go to the bathroom.

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