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Author Topic: To Experienced Daters
Shira

Dater

Posts: 29
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Post To Experienced Daters

What do you know now that you wish you knew right when you started dating? (I have a friend who is starting to go out and I want to give her some advice.)

dancer90

Dating Pro

Posts: 208
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Post Re: To Experienced Daters

never be scared to say how you feel and ask questions! its better to be completly open and honest than to have regrets later on. 😐

Esther

Dating Maven

Posts: 79
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Post Re: To Experienced Daters

When I started dating, my brother in law gave me the best piece of advice. Be yourself. For sure for the first date - don't think into your every move and his every move. Just be normal and regular. Save all the thinking into things for later.

Aviva

Dater

Posts: 8
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Post Re: To Experienced Daters

Esther, your brother-in-law definitely gave the best piece of advice! It's very important to be relaxed.

Shira, believe it or not, I would recommend getting a good night's sleep. It will allow you to be more alert and hopefully help prevent you from saying something you may regret. 🙂

Bayla

Dating Maven

Posts: 84
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Post Re: To Experienced Daters

I want to say daven,daven,daven. But I also want to say, trust yourself! That is the key factor to being able to say what you need and to keep going on the right track.

gold

Dating Maven

Posts: 77
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Post Re: To Experienced Daters

As Aviva said, sleep is very important, as you want to be alert and on the ball.
Another important tip is to mentally prepare some topics to bring up and discuss. For the first few dates, it could just be simple, basic questions, but for dates like the 5th and beyond, you will want to discuss more personal and deeper things, and contrary to the popular belief, it is not always the boy who will be initiating conversation. Many times, the girl has to initiate, whether its because you come to a dead end and have nothing to talk about, or it is because you need to find out and discuss specific things. Also not all boys come prepared with different topics to bring up or they eventually run out of things. Therefore I find it very beneficial to do your homework before a date and mentally prepare a list of a few discussion trigger topics. I find this to be something that can make or break a date, because you can't build a relationship talking about the weather

Bayla

Dating Maven

Posts: 84
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Post Re: To Experienced Daters

lol gold..yes your post is so true..then you just hope to actually remember all that you thought about!

Miriam

Dating Maven

Posts: 51
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Post Re: To Experienced Daters

When I started dating, my brother in law gave me the best piece of advice. Be yourself. For sure for the first date - don't think into your every move and his every move. Just be normal and regular. Save all the thinking into things for later. ----esther

Just wanted to express my negative side.
We all know that everyone is faking it for the first couple of dates. As the saying goes "the first impression is the most important impression". It is so true btw.
So to me it is very hard to say just be normal....dont think about every move but you so do so i feel that, be fake for a bit and when you get comfortable open up a bit more and not too much cuz you chas vshalom might get hurt(been there done that 🙁 🙁 🙁 and b'h for that too). Then you can do all the real thinking and you'll be comfortable. Which to me is the most imp.
Getting yourself comfortable on a date cuz then you will be yourself!!!
sorry 4 being so rough 🙂 🙂 🙂

bitachon

Dating Maven

Posts: 156
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Post Re: To Experienced Daters

well just to comment to Miriam, that no one is fully themselves...like if youre a rah rah type always singing ur not doing that on a date...but def don't put on a show of what ur not!
also depending who ur dating and his personality he may bring out a different part of ur personality just like the various frnds u have do
Hazlacha

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