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Author Topic: Taking a relationship to "the next level"
lukshenkug-
el

Dater

Posts: 33
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Post Taking a relationship to "the next level"
on: June 2, 2013, 3:40 AM

On shabbos I was having a conversation with a relative of mine who is going on a fifth date tom. He is having a hard time "taking the conversation to the next level", in other words, moving from chit chat kind of talk to more serious talk. He is definitely a deep thinker and does appreciate intellectual conversations but isnt the touchy feely type and doesnt just open up that easily (like most guys). Does anyone have any good ideas of questions or things to say that would start a deeper conversation or that would lead to a more "opening up" kind of talk? any ideas at all would be appreciated...
thanks

thinkingBY-
girl

Dating Coach

Posts: 607
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Post Re: Taking a relationship to "the next level"
on: June 2, 2013, 3:53 AM

If he's serious about their relationship, he should start talking about "us." She'll hopefully take his cue.

rosepetal5

Dating Maven

Posts: 163
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Post Re: Taking a relationship to "the next level"
on: June 2, 2013, 9:34 AM

Maybe he could start by talking about himself or an experience he had. Maybe that would make her more comfortable to talk about herself, as well.
Maybe he could start a conversation by saying, "I hear a story about .... what do you think about it?" Maybe that could lead somewhere????

patcha

Dating Coach

Posts: 445
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Post Re: Taking a relationship to "the next level"
on: June 2, 2013, 1:16 PM

Some people have a custom that by the third date the parents and daters sit down and shmooze for a few minutes. It is just a way of staying in touch. It is done on a third date so that it's not like you meet the parents the first time and then never see them for weeks.

Every person has to do this in their own way. You cannot push it.

Sari

Dating Maven

Posts: 181
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Post Re: Taking a relationship to "the next level"
on: June 2, 2013, 1:18 PM

From my experience it's making yourself vulnerable by telling them something somewhat private that you would not tell a stranger.

basmelech

Dating Coach

Posts: 408
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Post Re: Taking a relationship to "the next level"
on: June 2, 2013, 2:18 PM

He can ask a question like " How do you feel about..." Or " Is ... something you would consider?Why" , or " How do you react when someone gets you angry?" These questions are openended questions which can lead to a more deeper conversation. Hope it helps him! 🙂

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