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Author Topic: Online Dating
Bracha613

Dating Maven

Posts: 175
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Post Online Dating

I'm interested in starting to submit my resume to online dating websites. Can people who have experience in this please talk about their experiences. What's your favorite dating site? Which one did you get the most results from? ect.

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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Post Re: Online Dating

The classic is SYAS. There is a new one zivugzone which purports to use better info to match you.
I have experience with neither. But if you do it, submit your picture. I've heard nobody looks at the ones without the picture.

Bracha613

Dating Maven

Posts: 175
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Post Re: Online Dating

Thanks! Are the other ones not as yeshivish? What are the downsides of online dating? Why would someone not want to do it?

feigy123

Dating Coach

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The downsides? You'll find out soon enough if you try it.

I rarely think downsides of anything are so bad that it isn't worth trying out. For example, I once tried brussel sprouts.

Bracha613

Dating Maven

Posts: 175
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Post Re: Online Dating

😀 😀 Wow if you tried brussel sprouts......

Bracha613

Dating Maven

Posts: 175
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Post Re: Online Dating

34 views only one response? Cmon guys I need your help.

inshidduch-
im613

Dating Maven

Posts: 155
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I'm not speaking from experience at all, but from what i've picked up, if you are considering anyone even semi-yeshivish, then online dating sites are not for u. it's for a way more modern crowd.

Bracha613

Dating Maven

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Post Re: Online Dating

Thank You! Does everyone agree with that?

feigy123

Dating Coach

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Post Re: Online Dating

Disagree. Especially if you are a bit older.

Bracha613

Dating Maven

Posts: 175
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Post Re: Online Dating

So it's possible to find a learning boy online?

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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I dunno what you define as a learning boy. I think there are boys who are talmidei chachamim who learned in yeshiva for many years, online. Again, they'll be a bit older. Don't expect to find a 23 year old guy just came out of the freezer in BMG online. But do expect to find his 28 year old brother who just left yeshiva and went to law school.

Bracha613

Dating Maven

Posts: 175
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Post Re: Online Dating

Wow thanks everyone! Can you please expound on the downsides? Or is that the downside?

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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Post Re: Online Dating

Well, the guys cannot be the downside, since you can simply choose to not date the ones you consider "down". I'm not aware of any downside, besides perhaps to your self esteem if it will be unproductive. But for that I say: try it and see.

Bracha613

Dating Maven

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Post Re: Online Dating

Your the best Faigy! What about the other sites like frumster ect.?

thinkingBY-
girl

Dating Coach

Posts: 607
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Post Re: Online Dating

I don't know you, I don't know your background, and I don't know what type of guy you're looking for. However, all I can say is, think about what kind of guys would have an online profile, especially because as we know, guys have long lists of eligible girls waiting to go out with them. So although people might tell you that it's not true that you won't find what you're looking for if you're looking for someone semi-yeshivish, think about why such a guy would have an online profile. Yet, it behooves us to remember that everything that we do in regards to shidduchim is just hishtadlus. It doesn't mean that your bashert will come from that particular action, but it's putting forth hishtadlus so it may come from another source. Think about why you want to do this. If you didn't feel desperate would message with guys online? Like I said, I don't know you, and I'm not making judgements here, but think about if this is proper hishtadlus for you. Maybe ask a rav or mentor...

Bracha613

Dating Maven

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wow thinking by girl you sure know how to get to the core of the issue thanks

meant2be

Dater

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I do have a profile on saw you at sinai and I have dated 2-3 boys from the site, with positive experiences each time, (and I have been matched up with boys that i have already dated via a shadchun), and I would never have gone out if they were not at least semi-yeshivish. even when i get set up with a guy from syas I still ask for a real resume and references before going out.
true on some of the sites like frumster and futuresimchas there tend to be more modern, bal teshuva and older guys. I dont recommend either frumster or futuresimchas I DO recommend syas. if you dont have a prob getting dates then online dating isnt really necessary and i wouldnt bother, but since i dont live in town and dating here is limited having syas helps. you have to do what you think is best and appropriate and if u r unsure ask a rav like thinkingbygirl said. the sites can be helpful but always proceed with caution.

inshidduch-
im613

Dating Maven

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I totally agree with thinkingBYgirl. would the guy you imagine as ur husband have an online profile? and as feigy123 said, the 28 yr old already outta yeshiva would be on it..but i doubt a "learning boy" would have a profile on syas....

bitachon

Dating Maven

Posts: 156
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Post Re: Online Dating
on: February 17, 2013, 3:31 PM

g'luck let us know how it goes
b/c i def wonder abt online dating
i always figure the boy i want wont be on those websites....
keep us posted

heyhey

Dating Maven

Posts: 191
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Post Re: Online Dating
on: February 17, 2013, 5:30 PM

is anyone scared or am i paranoid to just date from internet?

InShidduch-
imFollower

Dating Maven

Posts: 50
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on: February 17, 2013, 8:04 PM

Of course it is scary to date from the internet! First and foremost, it's not a real relationship. I mean, how can you marry someone that looks like a computer screen full of words and chats to you??? And you have no idea what the boy is about? And you don't either know if he is legitimate?? And that's just saying the bare minimum! Yes, online dating is serious business....

cool nerd

Dater

Posts: 44
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Post Re: Online Dating
on: February 17, 2013, 8:06 PM

Which is why online dating sites should only be used for the initial encounter and not actual dating.

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