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Author Topic: First date
life123

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Post First date
on: May 5, 2013, 7:07 PM

First date (ever) tomorrow... any advice?

chaykie

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Post Re: First date
on: May 5, 2013, 7:15 PM

You are starting a hopefully very exciting time in your life! yes, sometimes dating can get quite nerve wracking... let me just tell you a few things: first of all, remember, the boy is probably, most likely, also nervous. so ur both on the same page that way. also, after you get past the first few minutes of conversation, it feels better. you realize you are, after all, just talking to another person (granted its not "just" another person, and one of these ppl will eventually become ur spouse, but you know what i mean) Hatzlacha Rabba and may Hashem send you the right one with clarity and b'karov!

life123

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Post Re: First date
on: May 5, 2013, 7:31 PM

I remember a while back someone said they were going to try to come up with questions for dating by pretending to date a friend... did anyone do it, and can you share the questions?

Bracha613

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Post Re: First date
on: May 5, 2013, 8:37 PM

It is a good idea to think of topics before hand (no reason to leave the whole job for the boy) On the date however don't think about the next topic you could bring up... just concentrate on what he's saying... be a good listener....smile...be yourself.

Esther

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Post Re: First date
on: May 5, 2013, 8:45 PM

Best advice I ever got. On a first date, just be you! As Bracha613 said, be yourself. That's the most important thing. Leave all the questioning and figuring out stuff about him for after the date or other dates. Hatzlacha!

patcha

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Post Re: First date
on: May 5, 2013, 9:15 PM

Dress very well. Ask a person who knows about makeup/style what you need, don't assume that you know what's good for you. but in the end it's a matter of taste.
Relax and enjoy it.
Try to have some conversations prepared in case he's quiet.
Be yourself.

life123

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Post Re: First date
on: May 5, 2013, 11:16 PM

What are some good conversation topics for a first date?

patcha

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Post Re: First date
on: May 5, 2013, 11:22 PM

a positive story from your day to day life (like something cute a sibling said)
an interesting news story (nothing too controversial)
where you went to camp/ yeshiva /sem /college
what you like to do in your spare time
don't get too deep on a first date. The idea is to see if you like spending time with him.

dance4ever

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Post Re: First date
on: May 5, 2013, 11:30 PM

its good to think of one or two questions before that you have on hand for any uncomfortable silences....asking abt the boys summers or grandparents or whatnot...

gold

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Post Re: First date
on: May 5, 2013, 11:36 PM

Firstly, be calm and chilled, be pleasant and SMILE:) In regards to your presentation - first impressions are major! You can never be dressed too much - meaning when in doubt, opt for the fancier/more formal attire (as opposed to casual). You are trying to impress one person as opposed to, for example a wedding, where your appearance is impressed upon many people. So theres no rules, therefore theres no such thing as being dressed too fancy...go all out...although remember to be tznius!! Dunnno ur type-but most yeshiva boys feel very uncomfortable when the girl is sitting right across from him and her knees are showing! Remember the more tznius there is, the more bracha there is.
And in regards to conversation, keep it light and simple-stick to talk about family, friends, current events, yeshiva/work day schedule....keep two or three topics in the back of your mind to 'pull out' in case there is need for more topics.
Some ppl have an hard time with the initial talk, like when you leave the house, just ask him how was his trip and then it will flow from there... (ex. traffic.., were you ever in this town b4 (btw, ususally they say - yeah for other dates lol)
Good Luck! And let us know how it goes!

atararox

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Post Re: First date
on: May 6, 2013, 4:45 PM

As some people already mentioned - have a few topics in ur head that u can just bring up that will start a convo. Nothing as awkward as quiet moments where ur both scrounging for something to say! I've used things like places traveled and craziest experience in sem/yeshiva or Obama - guys like to talk about that! Good lucccckkkk!

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: First date
on: May 6, 2013, 9:44 PM

I find it fun to talk about controversial topics...It makes things interesting - especially if one or both of you knows a lot about the subject and has an opinion on it. Try to gouge out if he likes current events or keeps up with the news. My mom's friend memorized Newsweek cover to cover lol when she went out with her husband who went to Columbia Law school. He was definitely impressed. But like everyone else said, be yourself. If you like politics and discussing controversial topics then it's something to think about. Good Luck! 😀

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: First date
on: May 6, 2013, 9:47 PM

Also, if he has a different opinion than you, it's a good way to see how he deals with the fact that someone feels differently about something and if he gets competitive or argumentative, or respects that and is a chilled and accepting guy.

life123

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Post Re: First date
on: May 6, 2013, 11:08 PM

Thanks, guys! I just got back. It went nicely, and we exhausted every topic you mentioned... if he wants to go out again, I don't know what we'll talk about 🙂
And no, don't post here to tell me! Maybe I'll start another Topic: Second date

atararox

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Post Re: First date
on: May 6, 2013, 11:24 PM

Keep us posted! This so funnnn!

batsheva60-
1

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Post Re: First date
on: March 12, 2014, 4:46 AM

I would advise just not to get worked up about it and dont think about it to much just go and speak to him as if he was just any person. If you click and go on more dates then u get into discussing more personal and serious things

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