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Author Topic: HHHEEEELLLPPPP
dancer90

Dating Pro

Posts: 208
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

DO NOT GIVE IN TO PRESSURE!!!!!!
honestly to me you sound like you dont really like him too much - but obviously i dont know all the details.
(did he come on all 10 dates with the car seats lol???)

heyhey

Dating Maven

Posts: 191
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

I just went out with a guy 10 times (yes the same guy as the 3 car seats in the back seat!) he is nice, sweet and caring. I just don't know if I like him. We are going out again tomorrow. I don't want to drop him by saying no, but i don't want to carry him out like this thinking we are going to get engaged. DONT WORRY i made it clear to him that for him this might be a 10th date but for me i'm holding by #4. he smiled and is trying to be patient. Everyone is pushing me. My parents are saying i am not getting any younger and the Shadchan is telling me I am loosing the boy.
Any suggestions?
Were YOU ever in this situation before?
Please help I want to be excited but i am not. I simply don't know if I like him.

heyhey

Dating Maven

Posts: 191
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

LOL i was rolling reading ur message! nope not all the dates i think just 3!!! now he rents 🙂

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

Do you feel you are getting close emotionally to him? Have you opened up to him? Has he opened up to you. I think often people feel like this when they have been dating for a long time but haven't really progressed in the relationship.
Do you think that may be the case?

heyhey

Dating Maven

Posts: 191
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

we def. talk openly.... i mean we discuss it all. I know him pretty well. Just not sure if i like him part is all there? I know i sound crazy like EVERYONE is telling me.. i just simply DONT KNOW!!!

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

Do you "discuss it all" emotionally? I mean, do you mean that you know all about him as if you read a book about him, or are the two of you opening up and making yourselves vulnerable to each other.

meant2be

Dater

Posts: 20
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

Quote from heyhey on February 3, 2013, 3:59 PM
we def. talk openly.... i mean we discuss it all. I know him pretty well. Just not sure if i like him part is all there? I know i sound crazy like EVERYONE is telling me.. i just simply DONT KNOW!!!

Been there done that. I was in the same position as a you. dating a guy for like a few weeks- although it was long distance- we went out about 7-8 times long dates, (including over shabbos)- spoke on the phone alot, we had good open conversation, felt very comfortable with each other, but from my side I still felt uneasy about whether I really liked him and could I imagine myself married and starting a life with this person. in hindsight I really knew from the begining that I was not overly attracted to him but I didnt want to stop dating bec of looks, and kept telling myself attraction will come, and to keep dating. everything else was good, we enjoyed each others company and he was a good solid guy. It came to the point where I could tell he was getting more invested and I could not let myself move forward and still had this uneasy feeling that I was "leading him on" and I had to stop dating him. Once I stopped dating him I felt such instant relief and like a weight had lifted off of me. the stress of trying to decide if I really liked him was gone. Sometimes we have to listen to out gut feeling and I am glad I did, although I regret dating as long as I did since I had the initial unease feeling early on but ignored it. Live and learn 🙂

Esther

Dating Maven

Posts: 79
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

Meant2be, I couldn't have said it better myself! You do have to trust your gut feeling - this is a major decision! I've also had the experience of not knowing to stop or not, and there is nothing like that feeling afterwards of "I know I did the right thing!" 🙂

Shaindy

Dating Maven

Posts: 67
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

I agree with what you're saying about trusting yourself, but I do have a friend who (as far as I know) is happily married, that was a total wreck from the dating through her wedding. Some people have a harder time with trusting themselves than others, and need to literally be pushed into it by someone! This always made me really nervous... 😕

Bayla

Dating Maven

Posts: 84
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

Every person is so different so none of us can really decide for you. You need to speak to someone who knows you best.

heyhey

Dating Maven

Posts: 191
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Post Re: HHHEEEELLLPPPP

Quote from meant2be on February 3, 2013, 11:01 PM

Quote from heyhey on February 3, 2013, 3:59 PM
we def. talk openly.... i mean we discuss it all. I know him pretty well. Just not sure if i like him part is all there? I know i sound crazy like EVERYONE is telling me.. i just simply DONT KNOW!!!

Been there done that. I was in the same position as a you. dating a guy for like a few weeks- although it was long distance- we went out about 7-8 times long dates, (including over shabbos)- spoke on the phone alot, we had good open conversation, felt very comfortable with each other, but from my side I still felt uneasy about whether I really liked him and could I imagine myself married and starting a life with this person. in hindsight I really knew from the begining that I was not overly attracted to him but I didnt want to stop dating bec of looks, and kept telling myself attraction will come, and to keep dating. everything else was good, we enjoyed each others company and he was a good solid guy. It came to the point where I could tell he was getting more invested and I could not let myself move forward and still had this uneasy feeling that I was "leading him on" and I had to stop dating him. Once I stopped dating him I felt such instant relief and like a weight had lifted off of me. the stress of trying to decide if I really liked him was gone. Sometimes we have to listen to out gut feeling and I am glad I did, although I regret dating as long as I did since I had the initial unease feeling early on but ignored it. Live and learn 🙂

only prob is how do you know what ur gut is saying????

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