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Author Topic: GIVING A GUY A SECOND CHANCE
partytime

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Posts: 7
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Post GIVING A GUY A SECOND CHANCE
on: March 11, 2013, 4:18 PM

Whats your opinion about giving a guy a second date if....he seemed to have been a very nice guy, nothing wrong but just not what you are looking for. Do you have to give him a second try because he may have been nervous or....SWEET GUY. GOOD QUALITIES. ?!

iThink

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Post Re: GIVING A GUY A SECOND CHANCE
on: March 11, 2013, 7:16 PM

It's probably impossible to get a full and accurate read on a person with just a first date. That being said, you don't HAVE to do anything. Just keep in mind that he may show more personality (or whatever else was "missing" on the first date) on a second date.

BTW- from a hishtadlus POV, you may have to...depending on the situation

thinkingBY-
girl

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Post Re: GIVING A GUY A SECOND CHANCE
on: March 11, 2013, 11:35 PM

What do you mean by "nothing wrong but just not what you are looking for."? If he isn't what you're looking for then there is something "wrong" I'd say, no? I guess I'm just not getting your distinction. Do you mean there isn't anything saying that he isn't for you, but there isn't anything saying he is?

That being said, I think it's usually a good idea to give a guy a second chance because you never know what you may have missed. There are so many situations in which the first time you meet someone you miss out on some (or many) aspect(s) of who s/he is.

boroparker

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Post Re: GIVING A GUY A SECOND CHANCE
on: March 12, 2013, 7:18 PM

I agree with ThinkingBY , you should give a second chance ..

sem613

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Post Re: GIVING A GUY A SECOND CHANCE
on: November 23, 2013, 9:10 PM

I know this is an old topic, but I'm going to continue it.
If you go out with a guy who on paper is perfect, and in person has nothing negative, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, something about the personalities just dont fit, how many "chances" do you give it before just ending it?

imyirtzeha-
shembyu

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Post Re: GIVING A GUY A SECOND CHANCE
on: November 23, 2013, 9:20 PM

I just had that.
Gave it 2 dates and then said no.
We had a great time on both dates, but I did not feel anything. I was not excited or even thinking about him between the 2 dates. I ended up saying no and not feeling even a smidge sad about it. We could have been good friends, but I would not want to marry him. (turns out he felt the same way)

life123

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Post Re: GIVING A GUY A SECOND CHANCE
on: November 23, 2013, 9:54 PM

It's nice that it worked out like that on his side too imyirtzeh(what a long name you have ;)) ... but there's no rule saying to you have to care about each other after 2 dates... MOST people don't decide that early in. I'd say wait until after 4, see if you look forward to the idea of going out again. There don't have to be sparks... if you come home smiling, felt like yourself on your dates, and enjoyed his company, that should good enough until 4/5.
I have a friend who wanted to marry her husband right away, but I'm pretty sure my mother didn't 🙂 She said she decided on 3 or 4th.

imyirtzeha-
shembyu

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Post Re: GIVING A GUY A SECOND CHANCE
on: November 23, 2013, 10:56 PM

life123 - I completely understand what your saying. In my situation it was more complicated that just not being all smiley... but after date #2 it was time to move on.

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