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Author Topic: Very hurt about being rejected because I am a BT
Malkayehud-
ia

Dater

Posts: 10
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Post Very hurt about being rejected because I am a BT
on: April 29, 2014, 9:57 PM

I am so hurt because I am a girl who is always trying to grow and become a better person and I went through so much just to become Torah observant and now I am being rejected by other frum people just because my family is not observant. It hurts me enough when shadchanim tell me that guys don't want to go out with me because of my family(my parents and my siblings happen to be very good people) but what hurted me the most was that I went out with a guy a few times and then when we got more serious his family started making trouble and they acted like they would literally disown him and not come to our wedding if he marries me so he had no choice but to break up with me. After what happened I am so hurt that I can't even imagine dating again or marrying a different person. Almost a month passed already since that happened and I still cry everyday. I wish I could just marry another BT like myself so he will respect me and appreciate me even if my family is not so observant but there are hardly any BTs in my town.

basmelech

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Post Re: Very hurt about being rejected because I am a BT
on: April 29, 2014, 10:54 PM

I hear what your saying. Thats so hurtful and very unfair of the parents. They are the ones that lost out. You sound like a very special person who sacrificed a lot for H-Shem and you deserve someone really special like that too. I hope H-Shem will send you the right one bekarov, who will appreciate you for who you are and accept and appreciate your family too. 🙂

Britni W

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Post Re: Very hurt about being rejected because I am a BT
on: September 19, 2014, 5:51 PM

this is what I am most afraid of and I get ready to enter the world of shidduchim. I am not only B'T, but my father was not Jewish. Even though he has no real relationship with me, I worry that because of my family background I will have a hard time finding my bashert.

musicalsea-
rch

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Post Re: Very hurt about being rejected because I am a BT
on: September 21, 2014, 12:09 PM

One of my friends has a medical issue that she was nervous would also get in the way of shidduchim. But her dad told her something that I think you would gain from too.

Your husband is out there. The more dates you go on doesn't necessarily mean that you're gonna find him any faster. In a way, you're lucky. The very shallow people who don't understand what hurtles you've overcome to get to where you are won't consider going out with you. They are missing out. So you'll only end up going out with the fortunate fewer people who you are more likely to marry anyway.
It doesn't mean that you'll be in shidduchim any longer than someone born into a frum family. There are plenty of girls born into frum families who have it just as hard if not harder that BTs.

Hatzlacha with everything

Debbs

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Post Re: Very hurt about being rejected because I am a BT
on: September 29, 2014, 11:50 PM

Hi,
I happen to be married at this point, but had my time that I used to frequent this site quite often. I figured I would share my thoughts, because, trust me, I used to cry in bed day in day out and sit here on this site for hours when I was single...I wish I could get my mentors to testify on here how I never imagined I would get married. And Im not 19, 20, 22 etc...it took me years to find my zivug...Years of dating- or rather, not dating...cuz in that whole time i only dated one other guy. and otherwise, just sat around waiting and waiting...and finally, he came. Trust me, hes out there. and im not saying this without experience. I was once really down about this and I didnt yet forget how hard those days are. Theyre murder. I would never have believed that this day would come, but it came. Trust me, if there is someone for me, there is someone for e/o of you. and my load wasnt easy, let me tell. i had e/t going against me, divorce, otd sibs, illness, no money, BT background, s.o slandering my name...and that's just the beginning. Trust me, if there was someone for me, there is someone for each and every person out there....

getmeadate

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Posts: 48
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Post Re: Very hurt about being rejected because I am a BT
on: October 20, 2014, 9:40 PM

Wow Debbs! Thanks for sharing your story. I actually remember your posts from back then how you don't get any dates and how you have no one to take care of your Shidduchim. I really felt for you and I am so so happy that you are now married IY"H by us all.

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