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Author Topic: No "shidduch crisis"
basmelech

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Post No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 2:09 PM

Quote from atararox on May 28, 2013, 1:04 PM
So at 22, exactly 75 percent of my grade is married. Is that a crisis? What do u think?

Well said. Rumors spread. This "shidduch crisis" is really not based on facts but on hearsay. Its not possible to have a shidduch crisis since the Matchmaker Himself can do anything for anyone. 🙂 H-shem does not have a hard time making shidduchim i dont care who says so otherwise.
I feel that there is no shidduch crisis and that the only problem with this situation is the word itself!!
Every boy needs a girl and vice versa, right!? Every person meets their future husband/wife because H-shem orchestrated it. We just have to believe in H-shem and trust that He has someone special for each and every one of us at the right time and the right place. 😀

rosepetal5

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 2:11 PM

I think the crisis is how superficial the Shidduch system is. I totally agree that Hashem has everything taken care of. I just think the Shidduch system sometimes makes a mess of things.

atararox

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 2:40 PM

Yes I agree! It is not the age! It is the superficiality of the system that is making everyone crazy! And that's why it's only in America and not in Israel and Europe! Because Americans are superficial and picky and since it became yhe trend for all the solid boys to be learning and demanding support and degrees, that's when the crisis started! When my parents got married over 30 years ago there was the same age gap but no crisis because people were honest with themselves -the serious masmidim learned and the rest went To college and the girls knew what they could handle and admitted it and everyone was open and honest. If anything the professional guys were saught after! But as u said the only crisis is that girls possibly don't get the amount of dates and options that they want which x even matter in the long run because if we Daven hashem will send us out bashert in the right time

atararox

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 2:52 PM

And u know what the funniest thing is - my fathers parents were wealthy and my mothers parents were legit poor! How times have changed!

rosepetal5

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 2:55 PM

For the record, I don't think it's just America that has a problem. I think people just make it out that way. Sure, Americans are superficial, but so are Europeans. The problem might not be as bad anywhere else, but then again, European cultures work differently.

basmelech

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 3:09 PM

I dont even think its the system, its the word "shidduch crisis" that is the problem there is no crisis. People just make it sound like there is one. like i said before, H-shem does not have a hard time making shidduchim i dont care who says so otherwise. 😀

in the gap

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 3:39 PM

I think that it is just as bad in Europe but that Americans like to make everything into a "crisis", so people think it is worse. At the end of the day it is all in the hands of Hashem and the hype doesn't help anyone.

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 6:42 PM

Quote from atararox on May 28, 2013, 2:40 PM
Yes I agree! It is not the age! It is the superficiality of the system that is making everyone crazy! And that's why it's only in America and not in Israel and Europe! Because Americans are superficial and picky and since it became the trend for all the solid boys to be learning and demanding support and degrees, that's when the crisis started! When my parents got married over 30 years ago there was the same age gap but no crisis because people were honest with themselves -the serious masmidim learned and the rest went To college and the girls knew what they could handle and admitted it and everyone was open and honest. If anything the professional guys were saught after! But as u said the only crisis is that girls possibly don't get the amount of dates and options that they want which x even matter in the long run because if we Daven Hashem will send us out bashert in the right time

It's funny, because they want all the girls to have degrees, but by the time the girl gets the degree, she's too old to be desireable!! 😛 I just think the ironoy of that is kind of ridiculously funny; especially how it's lost on the yeshivish world!
So they invented these Jewish "fast" degrees. From colleges that no one professional has heard of. How impressive. Very few well-paying, secularly known and respected companies are going to put a girl with that degree ahead, or even next to other people vying for a job in their company. So everyone is racing to get hired by the same few Jewish companies and there aren't enough jobs to go around. Also, the girls fortunate enough to get hired are paid much less than their non-jewish and secularly educated counterparts.

So that's contributing to the "no money" aspect of living a kollel lifestyle. It's going to be so hard for our generations' kids and grandchildren! Why doesn't everyone see that this can only get worse?

I think that everyone will get married, but I also think that the superficiality is making it harder and causing people to get flustered with the whole shidduch system.

rosepetal5

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 6:44 PM

TTDWR, I agree.

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 6:47 PM

Thank you! 😀 I wish that everyone else felt the same way... 🙁

atararox

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 7:07 PM

I wish they can take these threads and publish them in magazines. but no,in magazines they only write statistics and show colorful balls on fancy diagrams.

I made a small miscalculation before -69 percent of my grade is married.
of the other 31 percent :
one is off and a few are very moder - like boyfriend type
two are slow - so according to tevah its not unusual
then there is 20ercent left of relatively mainstream girls (or reg fam issues like divorce or deceased parent r''l or overweight) that are still in shidduchim.
now if c'v majority of that 20 percent x get married then yes, maybe there is some crisis, but if over the next 5 years or so more girls get married, then it is merely call life.so I guess at this point I cant really say for sure either way. just gatta pray.

patcha

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 7:36 PM

To not reveal personal information, will post that of someone I know:
23, 50 students, 35 at least engaged/married.
21, 35 students, 15-20 engaged/married

Brother:
19, dunno how many in class, but none of them engaged/married.

chaykie

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 9:29 PM

there IS a crisis. just not a shidduch crisis. it's an emunah crisis and a priorities crisis. that's what it is.

from my class of about 30, half are married, one engaged. four yrs out of hs.

laykay

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 9:41 PM

A priorities crisis!!!!!!! 😀

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 28, 2013, 11:00 PM

We should advertise that!!! 😀

basmelech

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 29, 2013, 12:48 AM

Good idea! 😀

chaykie

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 29, 2013, 6:48 PM

i just realized that the sentence about my class belongs in a diff thread...sorry if anyone was confused, altho it doesnt seem so...

basmelech

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 29, 2013, 6:54 PM

Wow thats funny cause it makes so much sense in this thread! 😉

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: No "shidduch crisis"
on: May 29, 2013, 7:08 PM

It could go in both - the survey thread, which im guessing was ur original destination, and it fits here too! 🙂

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