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Author Topic: Need chizuk!!!!!!
itpy

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Post Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 16, 2013, 4:28 PM

Hi everyone!! I'm at a point where I feel so down about shidduchim! All the boys I'm going out with are just not for me and nothing ends up working out! It's getting very stressful! Help! Anyone feel the same way or can provide chizuk?? It's soo hard when i go out and the boys are just totally not for me !

daysfan24

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 16, 2013, 5:59 PM

I am SO with you. It is really really hard. I can't even count on both hands how many guys I've dated and weren't for me. It only takes one though- so just keep hopeful and positive. I wish I can give you better advice- but I know it helps knowing others feel the same, and I definitely feel the same. Hatzlacha hope you find him very very soon!!!

chaykie

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 16, 2013, 6:00 PM

Oy that is hard! i've been on those dates where you realize in the first 5 minutes that this guy is way out of ur ballpark...so sorry ur going through this- i don't really have any chizuk to give you but i feel for you! just know we're all rootin' for ya 🙂

itpy

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 16, 2013, 6:09 PM

Thanks for ur response! Gave me chizuk already:) i just feel like its crazy that not a single one of them is for me (even thought their all known to be awesome boys!) the few guys who I thought had potnetial said no to me ( which was rly hard for me!!!) and all the other many guys I dated who liked me I didn't even want to give it a second date cuz i knew they werent for me! It's soooo frustrating! I guess I just gta keep strong and and believe there's someone out there for me! And plus I don't stop crying and davening to hashem to send me the right one and before every date I get my hopes up that this is prob the one and hashem is answering my tefiloes finally! And then boom- after the first date I already know the boy is not for me:(! Oish! When Is it going to be my turn!!!!?? When is hashem going to answer me?!!

devorah123

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 18, 2013, 1:24 AM

Hi, oy my heart tears for you! I know exactly how u feel but maybe even worse b/c my problem is that I'm not even getting dates! Nothing is happening for me! In the past year and a half I only went out with 2 guys and they were both way out of my league. But I guess at the end of the day we're both in the same position. Only advice I can give you is to do what I do when I also feel like "is he ever gonna come??" is I remind myself that Hashem really loves me and has a plan for me and I daven or listen to inspiring music or speeches. Not much else we could really do. Don't worry more girls are in the same position as you than you think!!! Try and keep your hopes and spirits high!

laykay

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 18, 2013, 12:08 PM

I could totally relate! It is the most frustrating thing because u feel totally helpless! I too have been davening my heart out for quite some time and have yet to see the fruits if my tefillos. My davening has really gotten weaker as of late because it just feels so pointless. No dates. Nothing. I too have to constantly remind myself that hashem has a plan for me and although I may not like it, it's for my own good....it's hard to watch friend after co worker get engaged at 20 and things just seem to go so smoothly and effortlessly! It's really really hard! But I guess no nisayon is easy and now we just have to learn and grow.

itpy

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 18, 2013, 2:39 PM

Ye its comforting to know that all of u can Emphasize with what I'm going thru but it's so unfortunate And hard that theres so many of us going through this difficult nisayon!! May we all see yeshuoes rly rly soon!!! I just wish I could do something that would bring my Bashert closer!!

laykay

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 18, 2013, 4:02 PM

Me too!!! If u figure it out u can let me know 🙂
I'm not so sure that there are " so many of us" though .. Most of my classmates friends co workers are married... It may seem like there are alot on this site because this site largely attracts girls in a difficult Shidduch situation. But in the actual world around me I don't really see so many girls having a hard time

itpy

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 18, 2013, 4:59 PM

Ur so right Laykay cuz all my friends and everyone I know is married ( at a young age) so guess its only us girls who are having a difficult time! Oish! just being able to vent out on this site gives me chizuk so thanks everyone for listening:) and emphasizing!:)

hittheroof

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 23, 2013, 1:58 AM

Wow, can't believe I'm not alone in this!!! Lately, I've been feeling like I'm in my own bubble and no one around me knows how I feel?! How could we give each more Chizuk to keep going! I'm just about ready to run far far away!!!

itpy

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 23, 2013, 11:37 AM

Ye hittheroof its soooo tough!!!!! I think that not only is it so hard that everyone around us is married and moving on but it's also the worry of not knowing when it's going to be our turn!!! We all so badly want it to be our rly soon and when nothing happens for months and our dates turn out to be bombs it's sooo hard!!! All the chizuk i can give Is that "yeshuas hashem kheref ayin" and well iyh all see yeshuoes rly rly soon!!! More chizuk from all of u would be great to hear!!!

bibliophil-
e02

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 25, 2013, 7:02 AM

I know a lot of singles who got married late in life and they all say that they found their spouses when they were least expecting to! I know it's really hard to see everyone around you getting married and you feel like your turn will never come, but honestly the best thing you can do for yourself is to just focus on YOU and the great things that are happening in your life, and work on improving yourself so you'll be all ready to impress your husband when he finally comes into your life 🙂

hittheroof

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 25, 2013, 2:44 PM

Quote from bibliophile02 on September 25, 2013, 7:02 AM
but honestly the best thing you can do for yourself is to just focus on YOU and the great things that are happening in your life, and work on improving yourself so you'll be all ready to impress your husband when he finally comes into your life 🙂

After a while you just plotz again!! Wish it would be so simple just to keep working on myself and stay strong, but I'm human...

devorah123

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 29, 2013, 11:43 PM

wow it's giving me chizuk just reading these to know there are others in the same boat!!

daysfan24

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Post Re: Need chizuk!!!!!!
on: September 30, 2013, 4:28 PM

Quote from hittheroof on September 25, 2013, 2:44 PM

Quote from bibliophile02 on September 25, 2013, 7:02 AM
but honestly the best thing you can do for yourself is to just focus on YOU and the great things that are happening in your life, and work on improving yourself so you'll be all ready to impress your husband when he finally comes into your life 🙂

After a while you just plotz again!! Wish it would be so simple just to keep working on myself and stay strong, but I'm human...

I agree hittheroof- is is really hard to just keep telling yourself there's other things to work on. I find myself struggling to focus on other things. I try to distract myself- it's just SO hard when its right in front of your face another person's engaged- and it's not me! Esp. when their younger than you, I hate it when that happens because it's like I'm so much older, don't I get a right to go first! At the same time, I know it's all the right timing. It's just hard to digest it and see it happening.

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