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Author Topic: Medication and Shidduchim
chaya101

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Post Medication and Shidduchim

Anyone have any experience with this?

d-e1-9

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim

I personally only have experience through close relatives who were on medication for anxiety and depression when they were going out. They both happen to be males and they both are happily married now. I know it is recommended that the person who is on medication discuss it with the potential spouse after 3 or 4 dates. But I can just say that although it seems very difficult, you should know that there are people out there who will get to know you and care for you despite that issue. Both of the men I know found women who love them and accept them as they are. They were honest about their difficulties and they have honest relationships with their wives. If you are not on medication but are hearing about it from the boy you are dating, try to maintain an open mind and look at the whole person. Don't forget that everyone has issues and problems, you are just lucky enough to hear about his honestly.

feigy123

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim

You certainly need to talk about it, but you should be wise in how you do.

Here is the bad way:
You: Meir, there is something I need to tell you now, because my rav said I have to tell you after 4 dates. I am on lexapro because of anxiety and depression.
Meir: (OMGosh, she must be crazy, get me out of heeeere.)

Rather, you should bring up the issues in the context of talking about yourself. As you are dating, you should be becoming more open with each other, and should be sharing your emotions. If you struggle with depression, that is certainly something you should be sharing with him, but again, don't start with "I struggle with depression"; start with telling about the things which make you depressed, and progress to the point of telling about when you sought help and how it has helped you. The depression/medication should be in the context of your emotional life, instead of putting your emotional life in the context of depression/medication.

Most mature guys will look up to you for having gotten help, since that is the mature thing to do.

Sari

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim

I just want to add to feigy's very important point. That sharing something private about yourself with somebody else often brings you much much closer.

heyhey

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim

my friend was on meds and told guys after date #3 i believe. she is happily married now!!!

iThink

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim
on: February 12, 2013, 11:07 PM

I am close with two people who are on meds and I am living proof that there are people who will not freak out at the mere mention of klonopin or prozac or whatever. I find that mature ppl with a clear understanding of the condition are open to discussion. Theyre not easy to find, but they do exist.

chaya101

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim
on: February 24, 2013, 2:59 AM

I hope your right. Im going on a date Monday night, and hope for the best...

kd2012

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim
on: February 24, 2013, 9:55 PM

i once had a shadchan ask me if i would go out with someone who is on medication....i was so taken aback by the question i didnt know wat to say. im going to be dead honest here, my first reaction was a definite NO. but i know thats not right of me...can anyone please help me with this matter? i want to be openminded that way, im just scared.

heyhey

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim
on: February 24, 2013, 11:46 PM

Quote from chaya101 on February 24, 2013, 2:59 AM
I hope your right. Im going on a date Monday night, and hope for the best...

ok. Hatzlacha!! hoping for you too 🙂

plz keep us posted

bitachon

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim
on: February 25, 2013, 11:16 AM

Quote from chaya101 on February 24, 2013, 2:59 AM
I hope your right. Im going on a date Monday night, and hope for the best...

hatzlacha raba! DAVEN DAVEN DAVEN!

iThink

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim
on: February 25, 2013, 1:32 PM

Chaya101 Good luck!! Keep us posted if u can....

heyhey

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim
on: February 26, 2013, 4:27 PM

thinking abt you chaya101!!

chaya101

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim
on: April 7, 2013, 10:41 AM

Thank you so much for this chizuk.....
This shidduch didnt work out, but hopefully the next one will.....

iThink

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim
on: April 7, 2013, 12:09 PM

I'm so sorry it didn't work out. I hope you find the right guy really soon. Until then, may Hashem give you the strength to wait it out patiently and the clarity to know it when the right one comes along.

chaya101

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Post Re: Medication and Shidduchim
on: April 10, 2013, 5:01 AM

Thank you...

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