I totally feel your pain! Shidduchim is literally the worst. But unfortunately we have to go through it to get married 🙁
I've also been dating for the past two years. B"H I have had about 13 dates. Only three of them went to a second date. And most were HORRIBLE! It's definitely not about the numbers when it comes to dating. Everyone goes out with the amount of people that they need to before meeting their bashert. It's definitely the worst feeling waiting for the phone to ring. But it's also the worst feeling finally getting a yes and then having a horrible date!
You are definitely an extremely mature person to be able to overlook certain things to go out with someone. But, you should definitely not be overlooking things just to get married. I was recently dating someone seriously, BH it didn't work out, but it took 5 weeks to figure that out. Along the way there were certain things that bothered me, that I kept over looking because I thought that I would never find someone perfect. In the end those things just came out more and once it was over I wanted to kick myself for even thinking of compromising on certain things! If you have certain standards that are important to you- do not compromise on them just for the sake of getting married! But it really depends on what you are talking about. If someones height bothers you, that not a deal breaker. If we are talking about having a TV in your home or how often your husband will learn, it's a different story.
On the other hand, I think you are really showing Hashem that you are ready. By going out with the guy despite the things that were bothering you- and the fact that you went on a second date- you were fully doing your hishtadlus. All we can do is our part. The rest is up to Hashem. You are fully doing what you need to! Now Hashem needs to take over.
It always hurts when someone says no! Even if you also thought it wasn't for you, it's always easier if you are the only one saying no. You just have to keep telling yourself it obviously wasn't your bashert. When the guy says no, it makes it easier to see. When ever I am the one saying no I always doubt myself if I'm doing the right thing. If he can't see what an amazing girl you are too bad! Next! Iy"H your bashert will not say no!
While I was dating a guy, I also got a yes that I had to turn down because I was busy. Of course then when it didn't work out the guy was busy! You need to keep telling yourself that if it is meant to be it will happen at the right time! Only Hashem knows when that is. Keep in touch with the shadchan every other week to see if the guy becomes available. It is definitely a horrible feeling when you finally get a yes and then have to turn it down! It is all in Hashems hands! The only thing we can do is daven and our hishtadlus.
If there is one thing I have learned is that YOU need to do your part. After I broke things off with the last guy I was dating I got so fed up! My other siblings met through friends and didn't really go through the shidduch process. My mother always sent emails and called people and shadchanim, but she was never super proactive about it. I stopped relying on my mother and have been doing everything myself lately. I send the emails, I call, I set up meetings. No more relying on anyone else. Mark your calender every month and send a reminder email. Call anyone you can think of! Sitting around waiting for the phone to ring won't accomplish anything. For the longest time I was bothering my brother to talk to a certain shadchan for me. Last week I got the shadchans number and called him myself to meet him. Guess what? His wife thought of someone for me and I got a yes! It might not be for me, but I'm still doing as much as I can.
At the end of the day- it's all in Hashems hand. We do our hishtadlus, and leave the rest up to Him!
Hope this cheers you up a bit! Don't be down! It will all work out! 🙂