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Author Topic: Its a Boys World
keepsmilin-
g123

Dater

Posts: 22
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Post Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 10:18 PM

Here goes my vent....
I have an older brother and he hasn't even begun thinking about Shidduchim and yet he already has a list of girls that are being redt to him, while I, on the other hand, am being told "sorry, he has a list of girls...only now - 2 months after the idea first came up are we getting around to thinking about you..."
UGH! It's such a yucky feeling!
I listen to the shiurim and I try to put the lessons into practice, but it's hard. I try hard to be there for my friends who are having a hard time also, but it is hard....
Sigh...thank you for listening to my vent - I just had to get it out there to other people who understand me/"our wonderful situation" 🙂

Have a gut voch!

rosepetal5

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 10:51 PM

You're right, everyone seems to think they boys are all that. The Shidduch system is definitely sexist.
I feel your pain! Hopefully you'll find a wonderful, respecting, not-sexist man!

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 10:53 PM

It's not the boys who are sexist, it's the mothers and shadchanim...

rosepetal5

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 11:04 PM

Unfortunately, there are a lot of men out there who are sexist. They seem to inherit this way of thinking from their parents - i.e. their mothers. I find it so sad that women, the mothers, allow this to happen.

basmelech

Dating Coach

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 11:07 PM

Quote from keepsmiling123 on May 25, 2013, 10:18 PM
Here goes my vent....
I have an older brother and he hasn't even begun thinking about Shidduchim and yet he already has a list of girls that are being redt to him, while I, on the other hand, am being told "sorry, he has a list of girls...only now - 2 months after the idea first came up are we getting around to thinking about you..."
UGH! It's such a yucky feeling!
I listen to the shiurim and I try to put the lessons into practice, but it's hard. I try hard to be there for my friends who are having a hard time also, but it is hard....
Sigh...thank you for listening to my vent - I just had to get it out there to other people who understand me/"our wonderful situation" 🙂

Have a gut voch!

I feel for you! Iy"H the right one bekorov! 😀

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

Dating Pro

Posts: 320
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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 11:08 PM

Whatever the boys' personal opinions are, that doesn't affect the amount of shidduchim they are redt. A good question to ask would be: why are the (some) mother's - being females themselves - sexist?

laykay

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 11:09 PM

the mothers are the ones causing it! they get this idea in their head that their ''tzaddik'' deserves the best and since they usually get the resumes first they only look into the girls who have seemingly perfect resumes. their fathers have the right jobs, the right last name, they went to the right sem and of course they have the right degree...if you have all of the above then maybe, just maybe, you can be zocheh to a date with their son.

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 11:13 PM

why don't they feel the same way about their daughters? Actually, don't you think that some mothers' make it even harder for their daughter to have dates because they are searching for (non-existential) perfection?? That's a problem that should be discussed....

patcha

Dating Coach

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 11:20 PM

Well, every boy needs a girl. At some point it has to even out.

basmelech

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 11:23 PM

Well said patcha! 🙂
Plus an older single I know, knows many singles and is convinced that there are more single men! Go figure. 😉

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 11:24 PM

patcha: true that...good perspective 🙂

keepsmilin-
g123

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 11:52 PM

Thanks patcha! It's always nice for that friendly reminder....
My brother is away in Yeshiva so he isn't around, but it is definitely weird in my house since my family is experiencing it from a boy and girl perspective. Yes - I tell my brother what to do and what not to do on a date....and he does the same for me 🙂

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 25, 2013, 11:58 PM

You're lucky you have that kind of relationship! 🙂

patcha

Dating Coach

Posts: 445
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Post Re: Its a Boys World
on: May 26, 2013, 8:43 PM

Thanks everyone! I'm so glad you liked it 🙂

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