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Author Topic: Getting redt a shidduch
basmelech

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Post Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 4, 2013, 3:23 PM

My friend recently thought of a shidduch for me, she said she will try to take care of it cause she knows someone who knows him... He sounds exaclty like what I am looking for! She got engaged (Mazel Tov! :)) soon after she told me about it. Nothing doing now... she's like "on a different planet" which is normal. I reminded her already twice about it.Do you think i should remind her again? I dont want to come across as annoying or desperate.

Princess-
Lea

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 4, 2013, 3:53 PM

Why should you feel desperate? As for annoying, she's being that too by mentioning guys then backing out. She brought it up, so it behooves her to follow through. Casually say, "So what about that guy you suggested?" Make her feel guilty, if possible, like "Oh, it's so nice that you are engaged, I guess we'll be sending less time with each other from now on . . . sigh . . ." Nothing like some Jewish guilt.

She is probably very busy now, but I can never believe someone can be so busy that they can't take five minutes out of their day and make a phone call. Nudge her again, worry-free.

basmelech

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 4, 2013, 4:29 PM

She didnt mean though to get engaged and then forget about it. I would feel bad to make her feel guilty. Im happy for her and dont want to make her feel bad and be busy with me while she is in "lalaland". Its just that it sounded really good.. Should I just wait a few more weeks and see if she says anything?

in the gap

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 4, 2013, 4:35 PM

I actually had the exact same thing happen to me, and I chose to forget about it. If it is meant to be someone else will think about it and if not then it is not then there is nothing doing. Also, it is possible that she asked and he said no, but she feels bad telling you that. Hatzlocho

rosepetal5

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 4, 2013, 5:15 PM

If it were me and I was really interested, I would remind her again. Let her know that it's important to you and you'd really like to see if it could work. Hopefully, even her ecstatic state, she'll be a good friend and do what she can.
Is there anyone else who is capable of putting this together for you?

heyhey

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 4, 2013, 8:07 PM

Keep pushing her!! Kallah's tend to "dreamland!" Maybe say something like "My whole family thinks you are an awesome shadchad..." Don't we all remember compliments through out the day?!!

basmelech

Dating Coach

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 4, 2013, 10:57 PM

Thank you everyone for your advice! Maybe ill try asking her again...if its bashert its going to happen and if not not 😉

Gayil

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 4, 2013, 11:34 PM

I think u shud get someone else to suggest the shiddich!

basmelech

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 5, 2013, 2:29 PM

Thanks gayil. 🙂 I'll see if I can find someone...

gold

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 9, 2013, 2:52 PM

Yeah - try to get someone else to redt it. But I know exactly how it feels. I have friends/acquaintances/relatives etc.. that call me up all the time with names of specific boys that could be shayach, however after a few weeks of not hearing from them, I usually send a quick email or make a phone to casually ask what's doing and they always say that they're working on it but the boy is busy....and then when a few more weeks go by, I always wonder if I should continue pursuing it, as I do not want to make myself seem desperate or anything but I would just like to know what happened - even if it is that they said no, just give me answer...know what I mean??

basmelech

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 9, 2013, 6:15 PM

Yup I think thats why shes not saying, cause maybe they said no. but I want to know that anyway. I just spent a lot of time with her, but she didnt mention anything!! Maybe she forgot?
How do I remind her? So goes back to problem of am I coming across as desperate? Wish I knew a way to say it to her, not coming across as mean, pushy or desperate. Anyone know any way to say it like that? (its just that this boy sounded like really what im looking for and if they said no I would like to know that so no high hopes about it 😉 )
Should I just text her something? If yes what should I say?

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 9, 2013, 7:28 PM

I know how you feel; it's really frustrating when someone tells you about a boy and then you don't know if they talked to him about it or what he said 🙁 I'm in a similar situation... I would wait at least two weeks since you last spoke to her about it before I broach the topic again. If it's been that long, then yes I would go for it - text/call her! 🙂 Just say "I was thinking about our conversation when you mentioned that you thought of that boy for me, and I was just wondering if you had a chance to find out anything about it, I know uve been really busy of course (big smiley :D)."
Good Luck and keep us posted!! 🙂

basmelech

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 10, 2013, 2:36 PM

Thanks for your advice ttdwr! I just hope he doesnt get taken in the meantime... 😉

TryToDoWha-
tsRight

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 10, 2013, 5:03 PM

If it's meant to be, it will work out. 🙂

basmelech

Dating Coach

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Post Re: Getting redt a shidduch
on: June 10, 2013, 5:42 PM

Amen! 🙂

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