This is my first time posting on this site- I discovered it while dating someone and was completely blown away by the beautiful community and support.
I just wanted to share my story- to give advice to others.
I was dating a boy for 5 weeks. Everything was going well, each date progressing the way it should. Along the way I picked up on small things that we weren't completely on the same page with. Throughout my dating I had many people guiding me and giving me advice. Parents, siblings, married friends, rebbetzins. People kept telling me how you will never find the perfect person and you need to compromise on certain things. By week 5, his family started pushing for engagement and I was not ready. My parents kept telling me to give it more time- 5 weeks is too short. I spoke to rabbanim, and many people and we decided to give it another two weeks to see where things would go.
Long story short- B"H!!!!! In those two weeks I discovered so many things about the guy I was dating, and that he really was not for me. Ultimately, we were heading in different directions in life. He wanted to work and make more money, where I wanted someone who would learn more and not focus on his job as much. In that extra time of dating, my family also discovered a lot about his family. In just a few days, things changed very quickly.
What I am trying to say is never let anyone pressure you into getting engaged before you are ready! I was being extremely pressured into getting engaged, when I wasn't ready for it. Many girls are pushed and unfortunately, it leads to broken engagements and divorce. I am 100% certain that I would have a broken engagement if I agreed to it earlier on. B"H it was a huge learning experience for me. I learned a lot about myself, and the type of boy I am looking for.
I am extremely depressed coming out of this. It's so hard getting back into the dating scene. I know it will happen at the right time, and that Hashem is the one in control and only He knows what is best for us. What is the best way to stay positive? I hate the thought of not knowing when the next date will be and just waiting for the phone to ring.
I hope everyone reading this will find their bashert at the right time (hopefully soon!) with clarity and ease!