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Author Topic: Sefirah Beard
happy gal

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Posts: 14
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Post Sefirah Beard
on: April 9, 2013, 4:50 AM

Hey there..this is my first time writing on inshidduchim and I am glad I found it. It looks like a cool website. Anyway I am not sure what to think and I hope that some of you can help me. It's not like I have not been in the Parsha for awhile because I feel like I have..I just turned 24..and I have been out with quite a lot of boys. I was redt to a boy a while ago but since I was in the middle of something else the shadchan said that when I finished I should check out her boy and get back to her if I am interested. It took a while cuz I was busy with one boy and then got busy with another one right after. I called the shadchan last night to tell her that I checked him out and would like to date him. She called me back about three minutes later and said that he admittedly refuses to date with his sefirah beard. What do you think of that? He he too into his externals? Should I be concerned? I know that he is a good looking guy..and dresses well so why shouldn't it bother him? Would I be any different? Considering what my friends tell me about how much I care about my looks maybe this is not such a bad thing after all. I do want to date him now because I have boys that are waiting to go out with me. On a different note, my mother feels that he is right because she feels that if I see him with a sefirah beard it will be a DOA. With all that said how do you feel about a Sefirah beard?

Princess-
Lea

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Posts: 223
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Post Re: Sefirah Beard
on: April 9, 2013, 10:09 AM

Well, since for a man to marry is a mitzvah, and going on a date would be furthering that mitzvah, A sefirah beard is a minhag, not an issur. You did not request a clean shaven man, it is just that he does not feel it proper to take a girl on a date with a scruffy face, that shows a rather European upbringing in that he believes that a date requires a certain level of propriety and comportment, not necessarily that he is "too much in his looks."

Some rabbis will say it is OK for a man to shave during sefirah for a date; others will hold otherwise.

But, whatever is bashert is bashert. Go out with these other guys in the meantime, and after Lag B'Omer go on a date with him. Maybe one of these other guys is your bashert instead. You don't have to wait around and twiddle your thumbs in the meantime.

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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Post Re: Sefirah Beard
on: April 9, 2013, 2:06 PM

Just compromise and say you won't wear makeup

iThink

Dating Pro

Posts: 311
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Post Re: Sefirah Beard
on: April 9, 2013, 2:17 PM

🙂

fun21

Dater

Posts: 6
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Post Re: Sefirah Beard
on: April 9, 2013, 4:31 PM

I have a friend who went out with a guy the first time during the three weeks..she ended up marrying the guy and then she made him put it back on cuz she said that because she met him that way she feels like it's just not him without the beard. Funny, no? I'm sure the guy didn't mind..usually they are happy not to have to shave. 😮 Personally, I don't do that beard thing..

happy gal

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Posts: 14
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Post Re: Sefirah Beard
on: April 10, 2013, 3:01 AM

Thanks everyone for your posts. You won't believe what actually happened!!! The shadchan called last night and said that the beard is coming off and he wants to go out tomorrow night! Help!! I am so not ready..I mean I did say yes but I guess I just took him out of my head. I had a friends shower's (she's my age and I really wanted to go cuz there are not so many of us around anymore) but it doesn't sound like that will be happening and I also need to call my hair and makeup lady...stay tuned

chaykie

Dating Coach

Posts: 466
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Post Re: Sefirah Beard
on: April 10, 2013, 9:35 PM

hatzlacha happy gal! so interesting how things can turn around

bitachon

Dating Maven

Posts: 156
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Post Re: Sefirah Beard
on: April 11, 2013, 10:33 PM

yeshuas hashem k'heref ayin
how wonderful!
good luck
i hope it works out l'tova

bibliophil-
e02

Dating Maven

Posts: 134
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Post Re: Sefirah Beard
on: November 21, 2013, 4:13 PM

hey what happened with this guy?

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