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Author Topic: Is this normal?!
d93

Dater

Posts: 2
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Post Is this normal?!
on: October 8, 2013, 10:57 PM

Idk if this has been discussed before because I don't have time to read all the forum topics, but here's my situation. I haven't gotten a date in about 14 months. That's more than a year. I'm a regular, normal B"Y girl... no big secrets in the closet, went to top school and sem... have tons of friends.... I've been to at least 10 shadchanim personally, and have spoken many other ones, as well... we are networking tons...Everyone who meets me or gets my resume says it sounds great... everything is right on paper.... i have great references on my resume.... right when i got back from sem, i had one date, and after that- NOTHING! Is this normal?!?!

imyirtzeha-
shembyu

Dater

Posts: 46
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Post Re: Is this normal?!
on: October 8, 2013, 11:04 PM

Thats kinda how I feel.
Im a regular, good BY girl.
people are always impressed with me.
I have people asking for my resume all the time...
and then. well its been 8 months.
I do have a very ambiguous resume. My seminar, although BY does not have the best rep, and Im not in a jewish college. But...Im very frum and look it.
IDK
i wonder sometimes....
Im sorry that your going through this. But know your absolutely not alone!

bitachon

Dating Maven

Posts: 156
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Post Re: Is this normal?!
on: October 8, 2013, 11:04 PM

yup its def normal but it is def hard not having dates...according to my calculation your around 20 or 19 turning 20... its also hard esp with so many girls ur age getting engaged it seems that others have it so easy..
i remember when i was back from sem a frnd and i both did not have a date for 2 yrs!!! and we met shadchanim and are normal girls ...ps she got married soon after to her first boy and i'm still single a number of yrs later way past boy #1 so it all really do with when and who is the rt one rather than how many dates!!
Hatzlacha!! ask if anything else on ur mind i'd be glad to help-someone in the parsha for a some time 🙂

d93

Dater

Posts: 2
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Post Re: Is this normal?!
on: October 8, 2013, 11:10 PM

Thanks! I feel better already! I know that I'm really really not old or anything, just happens to be that every single one of my close friends is married and lots of my other friends, as well, so just gets a little frustrating when there is basically nothing happening here...

in the gap

Dating Maven

Posts: 164
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Post Re: Is this normal?!
on: October 8, 2013, 11:12 PM

It is normal! Perhaps it is painful, but it is very normal!! This is what happens to many girls, and all that we can do is Daven and work on our bitachon,(not that it is easy.) Unfortunately there are many girls who are a few years out of seminary and have never even been on one date! This world is not meant to be smooth sailing, and just take it as a compliment that Hashem has so much faith in you! Hatzlocho!

dazzleme21

Dating Maven

Posts: 133
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Post Re: Is this normal?!
on: October 8, 2013, 11:12 PM

you just have to daven! and hope the right one will come along soon.you can do hishtadlus which you already did and are doing . i know someone I think she was 22 who never had a date then she finally had one and thats the guy she married! Its better to date less people and find the right one then to date tonz !!! people get burn out from dating so many people who are not for them.They start thing is there any out there for me??

bitachon

Dating Maven

Posts: 156
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Post Re: Is this normal?!
on: October 8, 2013, 11:16 PM

d93 keep smiling....and keep making new frnds!! also when you feel totally out of control (which is always the csse cuz ultimately Hashem is in charge) either you or your mother should make a few (not overboard though) phonecalls
whether to shadchanim to remind them or to married frnds whose husband may know someone for you.

musicalsea-
rch

Dater

Posts: 12
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Post Re: Is this normal?!
on: October 13, 2013, 12:33 AM

I totally hear where you're coming from d93.

I didn't get a date for over 2 years. At first I was a frustrated and nervous, but then I realized that I had an opportunity to focus on my degree so I can actually support my husband in learning. Of course, a year into my masters I got my first date!

I've only had a few dates since then, but I still thank HaShem every day for not having me go through the disappointment of the dates not working out more often. I would so rather have the pain of waiting again than the pain of finding boys who are so close to what I'm looking for, yet so far.

Good luck and know that you are TOTALLY not alone!

basmelech

Dating Coach

Posts: 408
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Post Re: Is this normal?!
on: October 14, 2013, 11:56 PM

Same here no date for while already. H-shem has His reasons though we dont understand why. We just have to do our best and He will do the rest! 🙂

mrswannabe

Dater

Posts: 28
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Post Re: Is this normal?!
on: September 18, 2014, 4:06 PM

I've had dry spells almost that long. Then I would get a few dates one after another.

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