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Author Topic: getting a date with a family friend
readytorol-
l19

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Post getting a date with a family friend
on: January 31, 2014, 3:27 PM

what should I do if I think my brother's friend would be a good shidduch for me. I am a regular bais Yaakov girl, and I don't hang out with guys so I wouldn't just start talking to him or ask him out by myself. How can I let it be known that I think it would be a good idea. It was actually my mothers idea so obviously she thinks its a good idea as well. The problem is that if we go out since we know each other from before, if it doesn't work out it can be awkward for everyone involved, especially my brother.

waiting-
game

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Post Re: getting a date with a family friend
on: February 1, 2014, 7:49 PM

U can contact a shadchan or any other person willing to act as shadchan and have them suggest the shidduch to him... and as far as being awkward goes, if everyone involved is mature about it, it doesn't have to be awkward at all... so what if you shmooze with him for a few hours and either one or both of u decide that the other one is not their intended spouse... Just because a person doesn't feel that u are the one they are meant to spend the rest of their lives with, it doesn't mean that u shud take it as a personal offense... or that he shud take it as a personal offense... in regard to your brother, if it's something either of them are concerned about, they can have a shmooze beforehand! good friends shud b able to have a shmooze about these things...

ek12

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Post Re: getting a date with a family friend
on: February 1, 2014, 7:50 PM

it might be awkward if it doesn't work but for the chance it will it's worth the risk

chaykie

Dating Coach

Posts: 466
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Post Re: getting a date with a family friend
on: February 1, 2014, 10:12 PM

i've gone out with a couple of guys that r rlly friendly with my father and brother. didn't effect their relationship at all (but like you are thinking, it did come up from one of the guyz "what happens if it doesn't work out?"- he almost didn't agree b/c of that reason, but in the end we went out). you all gotta understand you only need one guy, he only needs one girl, and out of all the fish in the sea, you guyz just might not be intended for each other.

readytorol-
l19

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Post Re: getting a date with a family friend
on: February 9, 2014, 9:01 PM

that's not the situation im talking about... I have gone out with boys who are friendly with my brother which is natural and comforting because you know from ur brother(who you can trust) that he isn't a serial killer or something. in my situation it is my brothers BEST friend who hangs out in my house all the time. I don't want that to change for my brothers sake, if things don't work out.... I am mainly concerned how to approach the topic to him and his family. also, hes my brothers friend so who even knows if he knows that I exist lol, especially in the dating sort of way.

CS

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Post Re: getting a date with a family friend
on: July 10, 2014, 10:36 PM

don't know if this will help but my friend recently got married to a really close family friend - the type the mothers are really close, the families are close, and they both knew of each other. I heard that it was suggested like a ton of times before they decided this just might be it - but they all made up beforehand that it wouldn't make a difference to their relationship if it doesn't work out and in the end, with the mothers working as the shadchanim, they went out got engaged and are now happily married! but I remember her saying that it was a concern, but BH it worked out (and they had it all worked out in case it didn't). Either way though, as e/o has said - it may be a little awkward but that shouldn't stop you. Is it the type you can ask your brother what he thinks/discuss it with him? and if he doesn't even know you exist he can pretend he still doesn't know you exist after... Also, if your families know each other why can't your mother just call up his mother with her idea?

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