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Author Topic: Car Door
Avigail

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Post Car Door

Do you care if the boy opens the door for you? I kind of laugh to myself every time they do it. Have you ever seen a husband do that for his wife I certainly didn't. Does anyone else feel this way? 😀

meant2be

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Post Re: Car Door

I dont mind on the first date and when he picks you up, but after that, every time to open the door for the girl when on a date, I think its alittle much. Some boys act really awkward when they open the door, which makes it worse. Plus some boys wont turn to the side or turn around while the girl gets in the car which makes it challenging to get in the car while making sure you are tznius, ie no knee showing. I think guys need to be taught its okay to open the door but then either turn around and not watch the girl get in or just open the door, thats it and let the girl close the door herself.

feigy123

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Post Re: Car Door

I'm more familiar with guys who just open it and then go around and let us close it. I think it's nice, and I think it is helpful to build the sort of relationship where you view him as "your man". As silly as it is. (I mean, I know how to open a car door. How about saving that energy for when we're married and then doing the dishes.)

Avigail

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Post Re: Car Door

But doesn't it feel fake to you? I always imagine his mother sitting him down and saying "now shloime don't forget to open the door for her"

feigy123

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Post Re: Car Door

Well, of course it feels fake--it is fake. It is also fake that you got dressed up for him and put on make-up and did your hair. But that is how you start a relationship.

Esther

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Post Re: Car Door

I just saw an older couple getting into the car...he opened the door for her! 😛 I guess with some people it is a real thing. If the guy isn't planning on opening the door for her after they're married and for many years to come, then he shouldn't do it at all. Why look like someone you're not??

thinkingBY-
girl

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Post Re: Car Door

I don't think it's about being fake and "looking like something you're not." Like feigy123 said, "It is also fake that you got dressed up for him and put on make-up and did your hair. But that is how you start a relationship." It's all about respect (and chivalry). It's just what is done. When you're meeting someone for the first time you put your best foot forward. You don't show up to a job interview in a t-shirt and junee. Why do you hold the door for someone behind you? Why do you say hello when you answer the phone? Why do you get dressed up for a simcha? And just for the record, I know a middle-age man who still opens/holds doors for his wife and daughters.

Bayla

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Posts: 84
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Post Re: Car Door

I LOVE when guys open the door for me..it makes me feel so taken care of. It is definitely the right way to start a relationship! And if they continue then great! Yes, it is fake but as everyone else said so is everything else! Live it up and accept it!

gold

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Post Re: Car Door

feigy123-very well said...I also used to feel incompetent when the boys opened the door, but I have come to realize that even though it's a silly gesture, it shows that "he's the man", which is what girls are looking for in a relationship-someone they can rely and 'lean' on, someone who wil take care of them.

Smile91

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Post Re: Car Door

I personally feel so uncomfortable when a guy holds open the door for me. When my bro. was going out, he asked me if he should open the door and I told him how I felt. In the end, he did not open the door and he thanked me for the advice-he agreed that it was uncomfortable. I feel that in the beginning, there should be a certain distance between the girl and boy, and when he opens the door for you, he's like in your space-too up close and personal-not so tznious if you ask my opinion. You're not boyfriend and girlfriend, you're two strangers....but obviously, there's something to it, bec. that's what the rebbeim tell them to do, but personally, not for me....

feigy123

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Post Re: Car Door

So then you think he should start doing it after a few dates?

Smile91

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Post Re: Car Door
on: February 10, 2013, 4:36 PM

Honestly, no.....but i'm not gonna tell anyone what to do, just saying how i feel when the guys open the door for me.

getmeadate

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Post Re: Car Door
on: August 7, 2013, 9:56 PM

I'm going to have to agree with Avigail on this one. I also find door openings fake and awkward. I'm thinking of putting on my resume please don't open door 😀 .

feigy123

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Post Re: Car Door
on: August 8, 2013, 10:24 AM

Did you ever open the door for your date, lol? I did, lol.

daysfan24

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Post Re: Car Door
on: August 8, 2013, 11:47 AM

I agree with those who say the guy should. It is all about respect, while it is uncomfortable and awkward for me, I think it's just showing the guy respects you. If he doesn't, it is a little of a turn off. It is not something I'd say no too, of course, but I do appreciate it and believe he's trying to put his best foot forward and show he's taking this seriously.

chaykie

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Post Re: Car Door
on: August 8, 2013, 10:15 PM

it also makes me feel kinda funny, but it shows respect and stuff like feigy and thinkingbygirl said (sorry didn't read past those so much). Usually the guy opens door and then walk arnd to other side and i close the door- a little more comfy that way cuz like someone said, he doesn't watch you get in. also, getting out of the car after the date- i don't wait for the boy to jump out of his seat, come to the other side, and open the door- that i think is a little lame on the girls side- he's already sitting, why make him get out of the car if you know how to open the door?

bibliophil-
e02

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Post Re: Car Door
on: November 20, 2013, 6:55 AM

Quote from meant2be on January 30, 2013, 4:25 PM
I dont mind on the first date and when he picks you up, but after that, every time to open the door for the girl when on a date, I think its alittle much. Some boys act really awkward when they open the door, which makes it worse. Plus some boys wont turn to the side or turn around while the girl gets in the car which makes it challenging to get in the car while making sure you are tznius, ie no knee showing. I think guys need to be taught its okay to open the door but then either turn around and not watch the girl get in or just open the door, thats it and let the girl close the door herself.

Honestly I think if your knees show when you get into a car, you need to get some longer skirts. Getting into a car is a common everyday need, and even if you open the door yourself, you could be parked on a busy street with lots of people around-- why would you take that risk?

Cherry

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Post Re: Car Door
on: November 21, 2013, 1:26 PM

I once saw a guy open the car door for his wife and they were married for a few years with a few kids...a little weird but how thoughtful!

sem613

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Posts: 134
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Post Re: Car Door
on: April 27, 2014, 2:34 PM

btw a tip i figured out about how to get into a car when the guy is standing there cuz he just opened the door: sit first with your legs outside the car, and then swivel while holding your skirt on your legs.

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