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Author Topic: 40 days before a baby is born...
far rock-
gal

Dater

Posts: 23
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Post 40 days before a baby is born...
on: August 29, 2013, 12:23 PM

k, so everyone knows that 40 days before a baby is born hashem decides who the person should marry. am i living in a dream world if i still believe that concept?? i truly believe that there is someone out there for each person. am i too old fashioned? then, i also dont understand how certain communities try to make shidduchim within their community. i understand that if lets say a boy is from detroit, its only fair that he should first date a girl from his community before going to new york. (im just giving examples of communities) but lets say the detroit boy is SUPPOSED to marry a girl from new york and NOT from detroit!?! maybe the girl he is supposed to marry is not from his community? am i crazy if i still believe the 40 day concept?

life123

Dating Pro

Posts: 324
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Post Re: 40 days before a baby is born...
on: August 29, 2013, 2:02 PM

It is announced who you will marry - however - you still have bechira, which means you can choose to lock yourself in a closet, and you won't get married. You can also not do any hishtadlus, and not get married. You can choose to only marry someone from your community and therefore never get married. There is this book - by the shmuz - finding and keeping your soul mate - which goes into this, though he doesn't mention the 40 days, that is the concept of bashert.

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