Forums

Suggest a New Forum Category

Welcome Guest 

Show/Hide Header

Welcome Guest, posting in this forum requires registration.

Pages: [1]
Author Topic: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
mrswannabe

Dater

Posts: 28
Send Message
Post What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: August 30, 2013, 2:05 PM

When you think of your future is a career/job on your mind? Or do you not consider a job part of your future, meaning you just like it as something you might have to do but this is not part of what defines you?

chaykie

Dating Coach

Posts: 466
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: August 30, 2013, 3:20 PM

I would love to be a stay at home mom with lots of yummy kids that i could shmush up all i want! and to volunteer at their schools and at other community functions and stuff like that. and my real job would be baking cookies for my husband and kids, and totally shmushing up the kids 🙂

chaykie

Dating Coach

Posts: 466
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: August 30, 2013, 3:20 PM

oh but i forgot, when my kids are grown, i'd like to be a doula...

ME

Dater

Posts: 18
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: September 3, 2013, 2:08 PM

I want to be a MOMMY!!! that is my one and only "career goal" a mother who is there for her kids at all times, and is home when they need her etc...

dance4ever

Dating Maven

Posts: 57
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: October 15, 2013, 10:29 PM

me too!! i'm driving myself insane stressing about college... but at the end of the day, with Hashem's help, I really hope i can be a stay-at-home mother. I would also like to volunteer in my free time

thinkingBY-
girl

Dating Coach

Posts: 607
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: October 15, 2013, 11:38 PM

I think a lot of people would ideally want to be a stay at home mom and be able to raise their kids, be the volunteer mom, etc, BUT are these the same people who want their husband to learn for "as long as possible?" How do you do both? We don't have the ananei hakovod and the mon anymore. (Meaning, you gotta pay rent and food bills...)

ME

Dater

Posts: 18
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: October 15, 2013, 11:58 PM

@thinkingbygirl no, in a lot of cases its not the same people. I for one, am only looking for a guy who is gonna learn 1 or 2 years (guy in school is def okay) and then work to support the family. I am willing to work as long as my income is needed for is to live on; is it an ideal? No! But I am not expecting someone other then myself or future husband to support us (and a lot of other girls will hopefully feel the same way) yes, many parents want to give-and do- but it should not be expected of anyone and no girl or boy should feel entitled to support from parents or inlaws. They brought you into the world and brought you this far- not entitled to much more...
(sorry for the rant.... I can't stand people with the sense that they are entitled to someone other then themselves supporting them)

dazzleme21

Dating Maven

Posts: 133
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: October 15, 2013, 11:58 PM

good question!!!!!!!! thats why I want to be a stay at home mom and I want my husband to work!! and hav a set seder for learning but he will be making the paarnassah iyh!!! ........ some other ppl who stay home and hub learns way way to work it out is if s/o else is paying the bills like parents or relatives or they win the lottery!!!!!! and I am against parents supporting bec if thyre old enough to get married thyre old enough to pay the bills!! why should thyre parents pay??????/

basmelech

Dating Coach

Posts: 408
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: October 16, 2013, 12:08 AM

i want to be a mother that can stay home as much as possible and my husband to learn full time for as long as possible. Trying to make that possible by going to work hard now for degree so i can earn later and support. If this is what someone REALLY AND TRULY wants then H-shem will help make it happen. We just have to do our BEST hishtadlus and He will do the rest! Leave it up to H-shem to figure it out (meaning tefilah, emunah, normal hishtadlus, wanting it with your whole heart) He has ALL the resources to make it happen. 🙂
This does not mean c"v to bury your head in the sand so to speak. If you need to work you go, if you need your husband to work he goes. But did you really try to make it work? Is it the number 1 on your list of important things? thats what really matters. Only you and H-shem know whats in your heart.

daysfan24

Dating Maven

Posts: 134
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: October 16, 2013, 10:04 PM

I'm kinda of in between. I mean I am going for a profession- but its about helping people, so it really does define what I want for my future. At the same time, number one priority is being a mother. AND IF I had the choice, I would DEFF pick staying home with my kiddies versus working- and being supported by my hubby at the same time 😀 . That'll be very much ideal- but I don't know how realistic it will be. So, we shall see. Just doing my hishtadlus for the time being!! 🙂

in the gap

Dating Maven

Posts: 164
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: October 17, 2013, 9:29 AM

I am thinking the same thing as Basmelech. While I would love to stay at home one day or at least have a more meaningful job, for the time being I am doing this as a part of my hishtadlus,since the ikar by me is that my husband should, iy"h, be in learning. As long as the job i am doing now is not bringing me down, and I make sure to spend a lot of time doing Chessed and going to Shiurim. I feel that this is my way of having a part in Torah even though I am not married.

bibliophil-
e02

Dating Maven

Posts: 134
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: November 23, 2013, 6:44 PM

Quote from chaykie on August 30, 2013, 3:20 PM
oh but i forgot, when my kids are grown, i'd like to be a doula...

I also want to be a doula! But like, now...problem is that a lot of the training sessions are on shabbos 🙁

inshidduch-
im613

Dating Maven

Posts: 155
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: November 25, 2013, 4:55 PM

I know someone who organized a group of 5 ladies/girls interested and started their own doula course with a certified instructor..

bibliophil-
e02

Dating Maven

Posts: 134
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: November 26, 2013, 11:59 PM

That sounds great! Where?

chaykie

Dating Coach

Posts: 466
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: December 1, 2013, 10:01 AM

hey i know someone who did that too- a few yrs back. right, so bibliophile, i'd also have trouble doing it now cuz i work full time (yeah some ppl can work full time and then go to skool after, but NOT ME...i've tried already...but when you start work at 8:30 and don't come home till near 11 @ night...it takes it's toll...). So i'm gonna wait till the summer, when i'll have more time (as far as I know now), and when i'll have extra time to make up classes that will have taken place on Shabbos, if those classes can not be arranged otherwise.

chaykie

Dating Coach

Posts: 466
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: December 1, 2013, 10:31 AM

Girls i'd be interested to see: Some of us are for the learning husbands, some for the working husbands. Is what we want based on what we see at home? Or is it really your own idea and it has nothing to do with the home in which you were brought up? For instance, you who want learners: Did your father learn in kollel for a number of years? Is he still learning (believe it or not, i know plenty of ppl who have married off kids already, and Zaidy is still learning full time)? How about your brothers? Did you ever notice if there were financial difficulties at home (i'm so not asking to be nosy- i just think it's really interesting to find if there's a pattern or none at all when it comes to those of us who want diff things)? And you who want earner/learners- Have your parents been working ever since you can remember? Have you noticed financial difficulties? What did your brothers do after yeshiva (if you have any, obviously)...?
I know for myself- both my parents have been working since they were married (and well before, as they both married late). We had a very happy childhood, and a Torah home. But after my father's business went down the drain after 9/11 when the economy went down...so did our finances. And even tho he and my mother both work all day, we still can't make ends meet- and there's not even tuition to pay...we're all outta school. And i see it's very hard for them. B"H their shalom bayis is totally great, but not knowing what's gonna be with the next check and if it'll cover everything you need, definitely takes it's toll... B"H we're still a very happy family- that goes without saying. But it's rlly hard. So I feel i want to be prepared (as much as i as a limited human can be) because we never know when a situation will arise when we will need that extra cash- and i don't wanna go begging. ya know, IY"H we'll all have lots of little kinderlach one day- we'll need to pay rent (or mortgage), groceries, utilities, tuition, clothing, if a child (or even a few) needs some kind of therapy, yomim tovim cost more than a regular week usually, camp is crazy expensive (altho, i'm all for mommy camp for the first few yrs of their lives. even if a diff mommy heads it every day of the week and a few families join the camp- so this way ur also having them socialize with others), vacations (and i don't only mean major one's. i mean even when a couple flies like four times a yr to visit both sets of parents for the yomim tovim...), what abt extra curricular things at school, gifts for others diff occasions, how abt furniture for your own home (assuming you aren't walking in to a fully furnished apt the day you get married), gas, dry cleaners, shaitels (and upkeep)...and extra's (new cd's, manicures, a new top for yourself once in a long while, or a piece of jewelry, babysitters (i don't mean when you go to work the whole day. by this i mean if ur going to a simcha or a date with ur husband, or out with friends for a coffee or something), a cleaning lady if you rlly must {notice that's in extras...i have my own rants abt ppl who think they need a cleaning lady every day cuz they are too lazy to do any of the cleaning themselves...seriously, how much of a mess can you and your husband make already???} ) And so much else! and i'm gonna do it with one paycheck? not very likely...not for me anyway.

chaykie

Dating Coach

Posts: 466
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: December 1, 2013, 10:37 AM

i didn't mean it's hard to be a happy family...just to clarify- it was two separate ideas. 1) we're a very happy family 2) it's just very hard not to be able to make ends meet

in the gap

Dating Maven

Posts: 164
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: December 3, 2013, 11:51 AM

I grew up in a Torah home where both my parents work full time. B"H we never had any major financial difficulties and we live a comfortable lifestyle in a wealthier community. I, however, want to marry someone who will be learning full time as I see the downsides to having parents who are working and not as Torahdik a home as if the whole home is centred around learning. (My brother and brother-in-law both work as well.)

bibliophil-
e02

Dating Maven

Posts: 134
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: December 5, 2013, 8:23 AM

My parents both worked full-time. My mom still does, but we have had major financial difficulties since my father was niftar. Brother is learning and probably will be for a while. I agree with chaykie-- life is expensive and I just don't think it's possible to reasonably live off of one salary. I see it with my mom and I would not want it to happen to me.

malkyg

Dater

Posts: 14
Send Message
Post Re: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow up?
on: April 1, 2014, 8:34 AM

I want to be a social worker. I'd want to work with kids that are victims of abuse.

Pages: [1]
Mingle Forum by cartpauj
Version: 1.0.33.3; Page loaded in: 0.119 seconds.