I dare. (skipped some questions and edited some answer)
The Offical Shidduch Resume
Screen name: Patcha
Before sister's wedding: 95 (kg)
After sister's sheva brachos: 95 (lb) (was too depressed to eat)
With contact lenses: Purple Without contact lenses: Red
I'm everything, and whatever my husband wants me to be that isn't apikorsus or actually assur.
I've known how to cook and sew since I was 12!! Plus I do Daf Yomi!
2) Are you really a hocker??
I'm not really a hocker. And koshernet is assur!!
THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS MAY SEEM A BIT UNUSUAL, HOWEVER, PROFESSIONAL SHADCHANIM KNOW WHAT REALLY DETERMINES A GIRL'S CHARACTER.
4) What midda really defines your character? ___slimkeit__________________.
5) What do you do to relax?
A. Eat (I eat very well on dates. 🙂 )
B. Get you nails/hair done (I consider that a form of torture, unless they are interesting to talk to. I can do my nails and hair perfectly well thank you.)
C. Go shopping (a milder form of torture, jk)
D. Talk on the phone (does email count?)
E. Say Tehillim (nope, sorry)
F. Design your wedding gown (hmmm)
6) How much food do you need to be satisfied?
Food? I'm above taavas ha'achila.
9) Are your suits:
I hold only the man should wear a suit, and only on the first and second date, and maybe by a vort and chasuna.
10) How often do you buy a new Shabbos robe?
D. Twice in a life time (I have a really nice one)
13) What do you use to do your hair?
Why do you ask so many questions about hair? My hair is very nice, thank you.
14) What brand of make-up do you use?
Whoever wrote this quiz knows NOTHING about makeup. At least not worn naturally and nicely.
15) What would you buy with a $100 gift certificate to Macy's?
16) What kind of table cloth does you family use?
We use two - shamor and zachor
17) What does your family serve for Oneg Shabbos?
beer and scotch
18) What's your retail value on the market?
I'm a ten cow girl.
19) What time do you daven Shacharis Sunday morning?
את חטאי אני מזכיר היום
21) What's your favorite page in a yearbook?
E. Family pictures of girls with older brothers
That would totally be my favorite page. Someone should suggest it.
23) What do you do if your date opens the car door for you?
Feel good, smile and say thank you, get in.
24) What's your favorite dating spot?
26) What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you on a date?
E. When I sat down, my skirt went above my knees
27) Why do you feel you are ready for marriage?
I have clarity about why I don't need to have clarity to have clarity.
28) What does it take for a boy to get on your list:
F. A blue eyed stud who knows how to dress and is really smart
29) What do you feel is your supreme sacrifice for Torah?
I went to seminary
30) Why do you think you should be chosen above everyone else?
A. I throw really cool parties
B. I wear a size 0
C. I have great yichus
D. I'm brilliant and loving and perceptive
E. I have a great personality, real modest
All of the above, but I believe יהללך זר ולא פיך