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Author Topic: Not sure what to do....
chappy613

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Post Not sure what to do....
on: June 12, 2014, 2:29 AM

Recently three different people mentioned in passing they thought a specific guy would be good for me. None of these are people who would follow through and pass on the suggestion to a shadchan, or to a . If I think there might be something in the suggestion, after all 3 different ppl brought it up, how can I follow up? Is it weird to call a shadchan and ask them to suggest it? I feel like it is....thoughts?

allfortheb-
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Post Re: Not sure what to do....
on: June 12, 2014, 8:02 AM

I don't think it's so wierd to bring it up to a shadchan.
Maybe you (or one of your parents if appropriate) can call a shadchan who knows you well and who you think will understand, and mention to her that 3 ppl have mentioned this boy to u and ur not sure what to do about it. Maybe ask her first if she knows the boy, and then ask her if she thinks it's a good idea...then maybe ask her what she thinks you should do about the whole thing... and hopefully she'll say she'll work on it for you or she'll get in contact with/lead u to another shadchan who knows the boy. It can't hurt! What's the worst that can happen?

in the gap

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Post Re: Not sure what to do....
on: June 12, 2014, 4:32 PM

If you don't feel comfortable doing that you can ask on of the people who already mentioned it to bring it to a Shadchan. Say something like "You know the shidduch you mentioned the other day? Well, guess what other people mentioned it as well and I was wondering if you could suggest it to (insert Shadchan here.)"

chappy613

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Post Re: Not sure what to do....
on: June 13, 2014, 12:57 AM

I guess my problem is that I actually know his family, our parents are friends, and I know who he is, although I never thought of it myself ( I actually don't even know that he is dating) , I am kind of worried that I will embarrass myself by bringing up a suggestion, for myself. One of the people who suggested it told me that they don't rest shidduchim so she would't bring it up to a shadchan , I didn't press, the other two really mentioned it as like a passing thought, and neither of them are people I feel comfortable bringing it back up with....

allfortheb-
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Post Re: Not sure what to do....
on: June 16, 2014, 3:31 AM

Oh, so what about about asking that person who doesn't redt shidduchim to maybe mention it to the boy's parents?
If not that, then maybe take the risk of being embarrassed and call a shadchan? hopefully she won't think less of you, maybe the shadchan will actually be impressed by it, but if not then try not to worry about what she thinks... (although if she's a shadchan who works alot for you, maybe you shouldn't risk it if you think she won't want to help you later on with other boys?)
these are just my thoughts
also it could be that maybe it's part of your hishtadlus to overcome ur embarrassment and do something you don't feel comfortable doing?
it's happens in life and could be a good experience to go through in the long run
also we know that the Only one we should fear is Hashem...
so we shouldn't be afraid of (lehavdil) a shadchan , they're human

bitachon

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Post Re: Not sure what to do....
on: June 17, 2014, 8:45 PM

had similar situation
so mmy other called a shadchan and asked if she knew him and said that pp mentioned it and didnt want to redt...and dont want it to get to the boys side that we approached her
so try it cant hurt
lol!
hatzlacha

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