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Author Topic: Ebay - Olam Habah
Shira

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Post Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 30, 2013, 8:10 PM

Did you all here about the guy who tried to sell his Olam Habah on ebay? It went for 99,000$ until eBay took it off because it's an intangible object.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/My-Portion-Olam-Habaah-Heaven-/171047172030

Okay sure, I went off the Derech. But even the worst Rasha only goes to Gehenom for twelve months, and that's without anyone saying kaddish for them. I have seven(!) brothers, I'm sure a couple of them will outlive me and say kaddish for me. I've done my fair share of Aveiros, but I have a decent amount of unassailable Mitzvos under my belt as well. I was a good student all through yeshiva, never broke any Halachos - and was even careful about Minhagim - until my early twenties, I am now about 98% vegan, so I don't eat any real treif (anymore), and being that I'm an atheist, I don't worship Avodah Zoroh, I served in the US Army, where I was the Jewish Lay Leader on my base in South Korea for a year, and when I was deployed to Haiti in 2010 immediately after the earthquake I saved countless lives (I realize they're goyim, but still - they've gotta count for something). Plus - to this day I listen to Jewish music all the time, so that must add something.
So all in all I think my Chelek in Olam Habaah is definitely worth a pretty penny. Don't be a cheap Jew, and fork it over like it's Maftir Yona. Remember - you're bidding on an eternal reward in heaven!
The winning bidder will receive a signed contract, guaranteeing my timeshare in Shomaim, and an additional signed contract guaranteeing that I will not become a bigger Baal Aveira than I am now, and that if I become a Baal Teshuva (don't bet on it), I will pay the fair market value for the return of my Olam Habaah.

Thank you, and happy bidding.

Q: Hi Rachmuna, Can you tell me where in heaven this portion is? For the price you are asking, I want to make sure I am in prime real estate somewhere over a rainbow, right between the lord and a few angels. And far, far away from those Charedim, with their huge families, it brings down property values, oy, and the mess they make...Will you hand deliver this to Borough Park too? May-28-13
A: That's a very good shayla, and I've consulted my rav about it. She said that since the Chareidim will be at the feet of the kisey hakavod, you have nothing to worry about. Let's be honest, you're not getting Moshe Rabbeinu's Olam Habaah, so you'll be off in a corner somewhere, probably with the Hatzoloh and Chaveirim members, who aren't tzadikim, but because of their life-saving hobbies, have snuck into shomayim. As for delivery, for an extra fee, I can hand deliver it.

laykay

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 30, 2013, 8:27 PM

Odd

basmelech

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 30, 2013, 9:01 PM

Sorry but i dont think this is funny joke 😐 (sorry nothing against you Shira)
I feel very bad for whoever he is 🙁

rosepetal5

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 30, 2013, 9:02 PM

It just seems like a very bad joke. Which is very, very sad.

Shaindy

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 30, 2013, 10:16 PM

Yeah I also thought it was sad it's a chasidish a guy that went off the derech. It's beautiful that people bid up to almost 100,000 though don't you think?

basmelech

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 30, 2013, 11:26 PM

We can't measure olam haba with money!!! I think they should have said you keep your olam haba, I'm sorry to hear that you dont know the real value of it enough to treasure whatever you will get.
H-shem please help him realise the value of his olam haba. That it is priceless!! I hope he does teshuva and merits having a priceless "real estate" up there! 🙂

atararox

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 31, 2013, 8:44 AM

Oy so sad! Y did people bid in it though? What happens if someone actually wins it? Do they have to pay him 100000$???

basyisroel

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 31, 2013, 3:13 PM

Crazy...I heard that the next day someone tried selling his gehinnom on ebay...

basmelech

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 31, 2013, 4:00 PM

Its so sad that there are people who think that this is a joke. 🙁

feigy123

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 31, 2013, 4:01 PM

Quote from basmelech on May 31, 2013, 4:00 PM
Its so sad that there are people who think that this is a joke. 🙁

huh? It IS a joke.

rosepetal5

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 31, 2013, 4:04 PM

The language of it doesn't really make it seem like it was a serious thing. If it is a joke, which it seems to be, it's not a "funny, haha" type of joke, but a serious problem that could cause a lot of pain.

basmelech

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 31, 2013, 4:16 PM

Well said rosepetal5. Olam haba is not a laughing matter its more serious, important and beautiful than anything else in this world. And when someone forgets that its sad to hear about it. 🙁 I hope they realize that before its too late.

feigy123

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 31, 2013, 4:37 PM

Also, for the record, the person who posted it is OTD. There are many things I can wish he will recognize before I start caring about what jokes he makes.

basmelech

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Post Re: Ebay - Olam Habah
on: May 31, 2013, 5:06 PM

Yup same here that is the real problem, the feeling behind what hes saying. Its just coming across in his jokes. That is why his joke is sad because its a reflection of the way he feels probably. 🙁

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