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Author Topic: Still Young
smile19

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Posts: 31
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Post Still Young
on: September 4, 2013, 2:25 AM

Hi I'm still young 20 and I have a big problem my cuz who is a year younger then me just got ingaged I'm soooooo happy for her but my parents are putting a lot of presure so are my grandparents I realy need help fast I'm x so skiny so they think thts the prob........I wish I new wht to do Im realy put togther but everyone keeps saying I must be more my grandparents Are Hungarin..... And it's soo hard........ Enyone have advice for me?

Princess-
Lea

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Post Re: Still Young
on: September 4, 2013, 10:31 AM

Mammelah, as one Hungarian to another, I understand. You ARE still VERY young, and it must be terrible to feel pressure, especially when it's not even as though the right guy has come along yet! (I'm assuming).

Typical Hungarian grandparents: It's all about weight. They find it very hard to change gears in America, where weight is less a topic then it used to be in Hungary. But it is completely unnecessary for a 20-year-old to feel pressured for being single!

The most you can do, I suppose, it to keep on saying it is in the Eibishter's hands. Your bashert will come when he is supposed to, you keep on saying to Babi and Zeidy. They can't exactly argue with that, right? And as for your weight, do not be concerned about it unless your doctor is.

smile19

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Post Re: Still Young
on: September 8, 2013, 3:18 AM

Thank you soooo much u x evn understand wht a help u have been just not being alone is great no I'm reallly put togther and everything but Hungarish are all into money and weight so bh I'm realy coftrrble and everything but I have not evn been Dateing guys tht are my type I'm more chilled and parents are more intense Hungarish himish.... U no... It's realy hard for me cuz I no I'm young but they make me feel so much presure and I hate it so I eat my way thro it:((( Its bad going in diet lol thnxxxxx if u have eny more advice for me tht wud b great wish there was a way to tell my parents I'm not looking for wht they wnt I'm looking for wht I wnt I also wish there was a way I cud tell my grandparents tht my cuz is ingaged cuz hashm wnted her to b

gold

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Post Re: Still Young
on: September 8, 2013, 4:26 AM

Can't help u with Hungarian advice but on a general note: now we are in the midst of aseres Yemei teshuva-use these days to the fullest! Pour out your heart to Hashem and try to take on a small meaningful Kabbalah. I would also venture to say: try to indulge in something else when the pressure comes on and not food. And then after you've done ur utmost in ruchnius and gashmiyus to improve ur situation, the rest is up to Him! Wishing u hatzlacha and a g'mar chasiima tova!

Princess-
Lea

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Post Re: Still Young
on: September 8, 2013, 12:42 PM

As a word of comfort, you probably aren't the only more mellow grandchild of Hungarians; even amongst the guys you get set up with, who are right enough "on paper" for your parents, may turn out to be more like you on the date itself. In the end, after my (many, many) years of dating, guys can surprise you. Or, alternatively, when it your parents realize you are not hitting it off with the guys they set you up with, they will be willing to look in another direction.

Oy, pressure and food! But you may have a way out there. Since they are Hungarian, if you casually mention that constant dating talk makes you nervous, and when you get nervous you eat, maybe they'll back off (a little)? After all, chinosh is first and last.

When parents and grandparents get obsessed like this, they are being irrational, and one cannot rationalize with irrational people. Keep listening to Rabbi Yisroel Reisman (he really is the best speaker) to stay sane. Keep invoking Hashem to everyone who pressures you, and threaten them that you'll go eat an entire seven layer if they don't leave you alone. (Don't eat seven layer. The partially hydrogenated oils are almost impossible to work off).

Things don't stay the same forever. Something in their mindsets will change eventually.

smile19

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Posts: 31
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Post Re: Still Young
on: September 9, 2013, 10:10 AM

Thnx a ton...:)))))) I really aprecate it:)

s.

Dating Maven

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Post Re: Still Young
on: September 11, 2013, 2:34 PM

Shout out to all my fellow Hungarians! Totally get it 🙂

luv2laff

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Post Re: Still Young
on: October 7, 2013, 11:30 AM

I have 2 younger sisters so I'm also starting to feel the pressure! We're all around 15 months apart and my mother thinks i'm a little too picky but at the end of the day, you have to be choosy b/c it's your life! And I just try to rem that in order not to worry what others think and do what's right!

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