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Author Topic: Sharing News with Friends
Debbs

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Posts: 18
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Post Sharing News with Friends
on: May 12, 2013, 1:06 AM

My best friend just had her second baby. and once again, she did not even tell me she was expecting. Honestly, im a bit hurt and insulted. a few months after her first baby, i even said something to her straight about not knowing about it. and now, she just had a baby again, and she didnt say anything to me. am i wrong for feeling insulted?

me21

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Posts: 14
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Post Re: Sharing News with Friends
on: May 12, 2013, 11:53 AM

Is she like that in general? Does she not usually share news with friends, is that her personality?

iThink

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Posts: 311
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Post Re: Sharing News with Friends
on: May 12, 2013, 12:03 PM

Ouch, that hurts. I don't think there's such a thing as a "wrong" feeling, so of course it's okay for you to feel insulted. I'm sure you know this, but it might help to remind yourself that whatever it was that she was thinking (or not thinking), it certainly wasn't to hurt you... 🙁 🙁 🙁

basmelech

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Post Re: Sharing News with Friends
on: May 12, 2013, 3:26 PM

You must have felt very hurt. Its very possible that she felt that by telling you she would hurt you and she didn't want to do that. You said you even told her straight out that it bothered you. I think you should tell her again, but be much more specific. You can say that when she tells you, you are not hurt rather it has the opposite affect you are genuinely happy for her! If she sees that you really mean it she will be likely to respond that way. Hope it goes well!

bookworm

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Post Re: Sharing News with Friends
on: May 14, 2013, 2:33 PM

Some people have a thing not to share the news when people are expecting.

bitachon

Dating Maven

Posts: 156
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Post Re: Sharing News with Friends
on: May 17, 2013, 12:55 PM

You are allowed to feel what you want however understand where she;s coming from. Now many people do share that they are expecting however in the days our mothers were expecting and older, pp did not share with others (except close family) from a tznius poinof view.

gold

Dating Maven

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Post Re: Sharing News with Friends
on: May 19, 2013, 6:13 PM

It could very well have nothing to do with the fact that you are single and u think she feels bad/doesnt want to impose her good fortune on you. It could very well be that in general she doesnt feel comfortable sharing the news with any friends, or relatives, whether mariied or not. I have a cousin who i am very close with and she herself did not tell me that she was expecting and I found out from my mother (her aunt) instead. At first i was very hurt, but then I realized that she and her family do not share these things, i dont know why, probably because they dont feel comfortable, they may feel it's an ayin hara...

rosepetal5

Dating Maven

Posts: 163
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Post Re: Sharing News with Friends
on: May 27, 2013, 11:07 AM

That has happened to me, too, so I feel your pain. A lot of people never talk about being pregnant - they think it's an Ayin Hara maybe???? I totally understand how you're feeling though. Friends should share such exciting news!

A friend of mine just had twins (her first babies) and I had no idea she was pregnant. I didn't even know she had the babies until she sent me pictures of two babies. I didn't even know whose babies they were! I had to ask if they were hers!! After I realized why she didn't tell me she was pregnant, I was just hurt that she hadn't let me know when she gave birth!

It's hard....

bibliophil-
e02

Dating Maven

Posts: 134
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Post Re: Sharing News with Friends
on: November 22, 2013, 2:05 AM

Do you not see her on a regular basis? Do the two of you maybe live in different places and keep in touch by phone/Skype? I'm just trying to figure out how you would have not noticed it physically...

Britni W

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Post Re: Sharing News with Friends
on: February 19, 2014, 1:09 AM

I have had this happen a few times with friends who live far away. It hurts when a friend doesn't share her happiness with you. I asked two of the friends who this has happened with why they didn't share. One believes that in telling people she is expecting that it can bring on the ayin hara. The other has had a few miscarriages, including one late in the pregnancy, and thus choose not to tell anyone except immediate family until the baby was, B'H, born healthy.
I would tell your friend how sad you were not to be able to share in her happiness, ask if there was a reason she didn't tell you, and then possibly (depending on the reason she gives) ask her to please tell you the next time she knows that she is expecting.

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