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Author Topic: Call Shadchanim
Bracha613

Dating Maven

Posts: 175
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Post Call Shadchanim

It is so important to get your name out! Tell anyone and everyone that you are now dating and what you're looking for. Call friends, relatives, and of course Shadchanim in your area.

dancer90

Dating Pro

Posts: 208
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Post Re: Call Shadchanim

i hear what your saying Bracha but im really trying to believe its all min hashamyim! yes, u do have to do hishtadlus and maybe meet some shadchanim but at the end of the day when its supposed to happen it will. It cant hurt to tell people about yourself and make a good impression but i find that hashem is showing me very clearly not to put too much faith people. daven daven and daven some more. say tehilim and shir shashirim and cry your brains out to hashem. after you do that you can meet shadchanim!

iyHByU

Dater

Posts: 4
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Post Re: Call Shadchanim

Whats the line between doing your histadlus and meeting shadchanim? I mean a person can spend all day calling and meeting shadchanim. When is it enough and maybe time to start relying on Hashem?

hettlez

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Post Re: Call Shadchanim

I think you should call the Shaddchanim regularly, say once a week.
This has nothing to do with relying on Hashem.
But I think girls need to wait until they are 21 years old before they go looking for a shidduch.
We talk about the boys starting when they are younger, but maybe the gils need to wait and get their careers off to a start.

tryingsoha-
rd

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Posts: 41
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Post Re: Call Shadchanim

BTW- something that I do if I don't want to do the whole calling the shadchan thing and sound pathetic... is I'll call the shadchan with a name that someone else mentioned to me and just ask if they have info and what they think about the idea.
That way, (1) you are reminding them that you are still single, (2) you are asking for their input/advice, which makes them feel good (even if you don't want it) which will get them on board on your case, (3) it will get them to start thinking about you and maybe help you find more info about the guy or maybe even think of someone else and it will also (4) make them think that you are sought after ie. a commodity- someone that everyone wants (and the opposite of pathetic).

How is that for a plan?

Princess-
Lea

Dating Pro

Posts: 223
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Post Re: Call Shadchanim

Just because someone claims she is a shadchan doesn't mean she actually is one.

Nowhere is it written that hishtadlus means running after "shadchanim." Additionally, the majority of marriages I know of where arranged by friends, family, or acquaintances, not shadchanim. Meaning, your best bet is that those in your circle know of you and think of you.

You can shake it up every once in a while by going to a shadchan, but don't call it hishtadlus. Hishtadlus is simply making oneself look eligible. I have gone to shadchanim (who called me, not the other way around) and for the most part, bupkis. Maybe once or twice did something materialize, and nothing great then.

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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Post Re: Call Shadchanim

I have a practice of instead of calling someone a "shadchan", I call them "someone who fancies herself a shadchan".

Avigail

Dating Maven

Posts: 130
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Post Re: Call Shadchanim

That's a great one fiegy123 very true

tryingsoha-
rd

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Posts: 41
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Post Re: Call Shadchanim

Quote from feigy123 on January 30, 2013, 1:22 PM
I have a practice of instead of calling someone a "shadchan", I call them "someone who fancies herself a shadchan".

That's great! Love it!

(We need a 'Like' button 😉 )

Shaindy

Dating Maven

Posts: 67
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Post Re: Call Shadchanim

Quote from hettlez on January 29, 2013, 12:50 PM
But I think girls need to wait until they are 21 years old before they go looking for a shidduch.
We talk about the boys starting when they are younger, but maybe the gils need to wait and get their careers off to a start.

Do you mean that if someone suggested a boy for you, you would say "no, I need to focus on my career now, and not on dating"??? It gets me so nervous when people put off dating! 😡 It's a scary world - I sure would rather be married early and not get to finish "my career" and have to settle for a different career! Money or no money, I want to get married!

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