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Author Topic: ANNOYED
devorah123

Dater

Posts: 14
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Post ANNOYED
on: October 11, 2013, 3:39 PM

I know I'm gonna sound like such a baby right now but today's just one of those days where I am so fed up with all this!! Why is no one working on me? Why aren't shadchanim answering? Why am I not even getting suggestions let alone dates? Why does no one seem concerned? Whenever we have a lot of family come in, or one of my friends get married I get all excited, maybe now they will help me out with shidduchim! But no! everyone seems too content with their lives to even work on me! Don't they realize what a mitzvah it is???!!! Why does no one seem to care????

dazzleme21

Dating Maven

Posts: 133
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Post Re: ANNOYED
on: October 11, 2013, 4:10 PM

it can be very frusterating 😡 , I totally feel for you ,some people are very involved in thier lives and other are scared to be a shadchan . I actually try setting people up even as a single girl . my mother sets it up but I think of it sometimes because its always good to help people.people think if theyre not married they cant set people up.Its not true! I kno someone who made 2 shidduchim before she got married and now shes married with a baby bh! sometimes its just not the right time for us and we have to be patient and keep davening and doing hishtadlus! 🙂 maybe you can try setting up people with ur previous dates or brothers ,cousins.. it might be a zchus for you! u would be helping others so you might feel less frusterated . its always exciting trying to make a shidduch!

daysfan24

Dating Maven

Posts: 134
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Post Re: ANNOYED
on: October 11, 2013, 5:16 PM

I totally hear ya devorah123, I too feel like no one cares a lot of the time. Sometimes people just really are busy with their lives and not that they don't care, it's more their just too consumed with so many other life responsibilities. I think what helps is just doing your hishtadlus- reminding people. Even family and friends ( if your close enough to confide in them to remind them) need reminders. Some people just don't realize the nisayon it is or maybe they don't even think about it because they never went through the same amount of devotion and time you did! I try to just stay positive and it only takes one person- and Hashem is the shaliyach, so whichever route it's coming from, He decides, as well as when He wants to send you it.

dschecht13

Dating Maven

Posts: 54
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Post Re: ANNOYED
on: October 12, 2013, 2:05 PM

Dear Devorah123,
I totally hear where you are coming from. While it may seem that no one cares and they do not do anything. Please know that Hashm is listening. Something will happen, someone will come up with a suggestion. As a so called "older single" I can tell you there have been months without suggestions then all of the sudden tons pour in. Hashm should send all of us the clarity to recognize our zivug soon. Its hard but remind people, maybe revamp your shidduch resume. Check your references maybe change them. I change mine every few months or so depending on where I am in my life and who I am close to at that moment. And Daysfan24 is right Hashm is the shaliach it can only come from him through a human shaliach but he is the ultimate shaliach.

smile19

Dater

Posts: 31
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Post Re: ANNOYED
on: October 12, 2013, 10:52 PM

I feel for u...... I feel the same way and it's soo frustrating :(((( good luck we should just all turn to hashm

shaindy86

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Posts: 5
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Post Re: ANNOYED
on: October 13, 2013, 10:34 PM

I am sorry you feel that way!! It can be very hard and frustrating to be at standstill! But don't give up!! Be proactive - try to meet new people, ask everyone if they maybe know of someone for you, maybe try sawyouatsinai.com.
We need to to hishadlus and of course daven!!
Much hatzlacha!! Don't give up!)

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