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Author Topic: The Green-Eyed Monster
thinkingBY-
girl

Dating Coach

Posts: 607
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Post The Green-Eyed Monster

Is this what jealousy feels like?
A dagger, twisting deep deep into my soul.
It robs me of my inner peace, my sense of competence, confidence, and control.
I want to be happy, I do -
And I rejoice for you.
But it is about me I think when this emotion overcomes me, however undefined -
This feeling, this feeling of being so left behind.
As you move on, I'm no longer in your company, but an observer,
And so this wave engulfs me as I sputter and thrash around for a life-preserver.
In all other areas of my life there is this illusion that I am proficient and have control,
But here, it is not so.
It rubs salt in the wound, when you move on.
It makes me question what is wrong.
Why have I been chosen to stay behind while I watch everyone else waltz into the sunset?
But the dagger only twists deeper as I attempt to remove it.
I try to convince myself that I am happy for you,
And I am, despite the rest of the stages of emotion I first pass through.
I only wish my happiness was not tinted in ugly shades of green -
The glow from the eyes of the monster inside me, ugly and obscene.

d-e1-9

Dater

Posts: 12
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Post Re: The Green-Eyed Monster

Wow, what a profound poem. It really capsulizes the feeling that we all struggle with. It really is possible to feel two emotions at the same time even though they seem to contradict each other.

thinkingBY-
girl

Dating Coach

Posts: 607
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Post Re: The Green-Eyed Monster

Thanks. Yeah, I think that's (one of) the biggest struggle(s). It's the feeling guilty that I'm jealous, despite being happy for the friend/cousin/etc.

tryingsoha-
rd

Dater

Posts: 41
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Post Re: The Green-Eyed Monster

ouch

Bayla

Dating Maven

Posts: 84
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Post Re: The Green-Eyed Monster

It's so hard to mix both emotions and the same time...and that's exactly what we have to do some many times!!! Then I feel like a faker, putting on that big smile and feeling so rotten inside:(

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