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Author Topic: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
mrswannabe

Dater

Posts: 28
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Post Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: August 15, 2013, 11:20 PM

What's The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?

dazzleme21

Dating Maven

Posts: 133
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Post Re: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: August 16, 2013, 12:33 AM

well one of them was go on my first date!! it was sooooo nerve wracking,but Im glad Im over with the first one.now I know what to expect....

heyhey

Dating Maven

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Post Re: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: August 16, 2013, 1:27 AM

hmmmmmmmmm! harderst in what way?

debook

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Post Re: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: August 26, 2013, 12:17 AM

telling a boy that you don't think it'll be good for you both to get married.

basmelech

Dating Coach

Posts: 408
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Post Re: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: August 29, 2013, 6:31 PM

Not telling my sister what to do (ie. bossing her) thats a very big nissayon of mine!

pray today

Dating Maven

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Post Re: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: August 29, 2013, 8:32 PM

Welcome back Basmelech 😛 We missed you!

basmelech

Dating Coach

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Post Re: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: September 3, 2013, 12:03 AM

Thank you! 🙂

chaykie

Dating Coach

Posts: 466
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Post Re: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: September 3, 2013, 6:26 PM

I'm in the middle of doing something very hard. It'll help if I have support... I mean, don't get me wrong, I do have the support of my loving family- they're really with me on this one. But it's nice to get support from anonymous friends too 🙂
Basically, I got into a relationship last year with a girl my age. It started out really well and went on for a while. Basically, she's had a really hard life, and as a result of that, she has major trust issues, among other problems (emotional). Basically we became close, she told me a lot abt her life, and i told her a lot abt mine, we spent time together, shabbos meals, shabbos sleepovers, the works. bday parties, all that stuff. and she kept telling me how important I was to her, and our relationship, how she thought our whole situation was beautiful...and she really meant it. One thing I must say abt her is that when she says something she really feels that way. At the time. All of a sudden she wanted nothing to do with me, told me that she can't deal with our relationship anymore, She told me I am "needy and burdensome"- her words exactly. And she simply threw our relationship out the window. Ouch. It really hurts. This happened almost a year ago. And it still hurts. A lot. I cried myself to sleep the other night cuz I figured before rosh hashana she'd come to her senses and apologize. Basically, I see her all the time, and she ignores me (well, believe me, the two times very recently she tried to be friendly to me, cuz i think she realized she needed to make up, I ignored her...and she hasn't paid attn to me since). Basically, if she does decide to approach me and apologize for all the hurt she caused me, I have a whole speech in my head that I'm gonna give her. Anyway, to answer the question of the thread, the one hardest thing for me right now, is trying to emotionally detach myself from someone emotionally unhealthy. It's really hard cuz i see her all the time shmoozing with her friends, she always ignores me even if she's not with friends...and when we did have a relationship, it was a good one, and I didn't see any warning signs. PS- just wanna say, B"H i am moving on with my life. I have been ever since she stopped the relationship. It's not like I'm so depressed that I'm sitting home twiddling my thumbs waiting for her to call and apologize. B"H the rest of my life is very good, I have lots of friends (altho most live out of town). It's just that i get emotionally attached to ppl- i like closer deeper relationships. Some of my relationships are deeper, some are just friendly like you go for slurpeez or outings with regular friends. Well, this was the deeper closer kind, and it stings. But I gotta detach myself. I know it in my head. My heart won't hear of it...HELP! sorry so long... thanks for being there 🙂

yaeli

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Post Re: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: September 3, 2013, 9:03 PM

Hi chaykie. I saw this and I just had to respond. i am in a somewhat similar situation, (when I was reading the beginning of your post I was thinking wow, is someone writing this about my situation). but my situation is a bit different in that I was being burdensome on my friend and at a certain point i knew it was healthy for both of us to separate a little. BH I am still friends with my friend, but also the loss of the very close intense relationship is ridiculously hard for me, even though BH i have a very beautiful life. I also love close intense deep relationships and even if my brain know I am doing the right thing, and I see my friend doing very well without me, like you said, my heart cries.
Anyways, know you are not alone 😉 IYH i hope things get better for you soon and you will understand why this happened to you and have beautiful close relationships with the right people (and of course with Hashem!)
Kesiva Vechasima Tova!

chaykie

Dating Coach

Posts: 466
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Post Re: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: September 3, 2013, 10:56 PM

Thanks yaeli! I appreciate your responding. it is good to know that ppl out there know what i feel like...altho i don't wish the feeling upon anyone of course...but since it is a situation that occurs, it's good to hear that ppl understand. It is so hard for me. my mother keeps telling me that obviously she wasn't a good friend, so i can't consider her to ever have been a good friend...but we were. it's just so confusing and hurtful this situation...mamash every time i see this girl it feels like she is punching me in the face. i do happen to think tho, that i am moving on with my life quite a bit better than she is. whatever, i still feel so hurt, so pained...i just daven to Hashem that He help me detach myself from this girl emotionally...and I still Daven all the time for this girl that Hashem should help her to become emotionally stable and well again...
and yeah, i keep asking Hashem that if He had to take away this relationship, a new really special simcha with a new beautiful relationship should come my way really soon! 🙂

chaykie

Dating Coach

Posts: 466
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Post Re: Whats The Hardest Thing You Ever Did?
on: September 3, 2013, 10:59 PM

yaeli, it's so good tho that you realized it was an unhealthy relationship, and that you each had to back off a bit. that's a real bracha.

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