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Author Topic: long dresses/skirts
CS

Dater

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Post long dresses/skirts
on: July 16, 2014, 12:49 AM

Hey! I was wondering what people here thought of long dresses and skirt - not the junee biz type - the fancier more formal type - maxis or whatever. I see so many dresses and skirts that I think are gorgeous, but I don't feel like its what bais yaakov girls are wearing - am I right/wrong? What do you guys think? Thanks!

sem613

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 16, 2014, 8:34 AM

To me, they feel very blah unless they're super fancy. To me a long dress is a shabbos robe (not that I don't have one I use as that) and a long skirt says "I didn't feel like getting dressed" unless it's fancy- like wear to wedding type. I have a hard time in that middle ground, maybe because we all spent so many years being told that that was the image behind it that its hard to overturn that in a day

CS

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 16, 2014, 6:25 PM

Thanks - I hear what you're saying. What about for weekday?

in the gap

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 17, 2014, 6:50 AM

I think weekday is the same. They are not really tznua and they don't give off a Beis Yaakov or put together look, in my opinion.

bibliophil-
e02

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 17, 2014, 7:33 AM

I don't understand...what could possibly be not tzanua about a long maxi skirt? If you're talking about a certain kind of "look", whatever, but to say that it's not tzanua when it doesn't show an inch of skin, isn't form-fitting, etc?? That just doesn't make sense to me.

2funny

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 17, 2014, 3:24 PM

I believe that the halacha is that the skirt should not go past the ankle. The "sweeping the floor" with your skirt look i think is not tznius.

bibliophil-
e02

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 17, 2014, 9:04 PM

I have never heard of any such halacha...source?

2funny

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 18, 2014, 3:58 PM

Quote from bibliophile02 on July 17, 2014, 9:04 PM
I have never heard of any such halacha...source?

I just looked up the source for this halacha in the book called, "Modesty-An Adornment for Life (Halachos and Attitudes Concerning Tznius of Dress & Conduct) " by Rabbi Pesach Eliyahu Falk.
On page 306 it list some reasons why it would not be recommended. Without getting into detail, it says: 1. In many areas such skirts are conspicuous 2. She appears to be copying the latest styles 3. Such skirts are not worn because of modesty.

Each reason goes in to extensive detail according to halacha.
For reason number three it says the following: "...it is incorrect to view them as exceptionally tznius'dik garments. ...it will be best understood by first referring to a strange phenomenon that was to be found at a time when Jewish women slipped to a very low level in tznius and were roundly admonished by Yashaya HaNavi."

"One of the items he [Yeshaya HaNavi] mentions that women wore at that time was a face-kerchief called a "Ra'alah", which hung over the face with just slits cut out for the two eyes. This is of course a mystery - how could it be that women who were prutzos wore an item as tsnius'dik as this? ...Rashi says in Yeshaya 3:19 'Women wore these kerchiefs which covered their faces inorder to provoke men and arouse within them a passion to see their cheeks.' As a result of this, when the kerchief would lift a bit due to the wind, the appearance of the cheeks presented an enticement to those who saw it. In other words this excessive covering was done to heighten the attraction of themselves, and was part of the unholy crusade that they had undertaken to entice and provoke men to desire and admire them as much as possible - see 6:J:2 below"

The sources for this book are written in a seperate sourcebook which I unfortunatly do not own.
It is a great book to strengthen yourself as much as you can in tznius. Tznius is a very complex halacha which deals not only with dress, but also in speech, behaviour, and social interaction.

Hope this gives some insight to your question.

CS

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 18, 2014, 4:39 PM

I had heard of this/learned this before but still have a few questions about it:
1. Now, it's very common (at least in my area) so it's not conspicuous (as long as it's not form fitting or with a bold print)
2. In the olden days they wore long dresses and skirts - that was the way it was done it's only more recent that we have shorter skirts?
3. If the skirt is ankle length as opposed to sweeping the floor is that ok?
4. noone ever seeemed/seems to have an issue with junees or bizzes
I'm sure it's different for different people and everyone needs to evaluate it for themselves/ask their own Rav, but I guess this does answer my original question. Thanks!

2funny

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 27, 2014, 7:47 PM

Hi CS, you bring some very valid questions. Unfortunatly im not an expert regarding tznius and that's why i try to learn as much as i can from the book i mentioned previously.

To answer your questions:
1) I believe that is right.
2) Short skirts is a more recent thing and wearing them right on the knee is not tznius which is the mistake that many of us make.
3) Ankle length yes according to the sefer. Mid-calf is also good (i find that a perfect balance, not too short and not too long).
4) It depends how people wear them. I've seen ppl wear a few sizes too small and they think that they look skinnier in them and then you can see every panty-line ... (With every other skirt too).

You are right that it's different for different people. So many different minhagim and "uniforms" that we have to follow and know which is the correct one.

It is becoming a very big problem nowadays because we are forgetting what is right when we tend to follow the fashion. It does make a big difference what fabric, color and length you wear.
As i was growing up and becoming stronger in tznius i often got confused with what is right because the people that i looked up to and respected were wearing clothes that were borderline tznius. We grow up thinking that its ok to wear ... and then when we find out that its wrong its hard for us to accept the fact that the person we looked up to was also wrong. This really is a topic that we need to bring more awareness to.
Good luck!

basmelech

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 30, 2014, 7:54 PM

wow 2funny you really know what your talking about. Thanks for clarifying!
I think the long skirts that aren't the clingy material are 1,000x better then the just by the knee/on top of knee skirts.
As you said it's all in the presentation
Let's remember that we are all Jewish princesses 🙂
We got to dress and act like royalty. Everyone is looking at us. 😎

basmelech

Dating Coach

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 30, 2014, 8:14 PM

http://www.talbots.com/images/migration/072814/home/104530_HP_Aug_Hero_960x_Wk1_Dots_.jpg

basmelech

Dating Coach

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Post Re: long dresses/skirts
on: July 30, 2014, 8:14 PM

Connect the dots.
talbots has upper class taste, like royalty and she's almost tznius. Isn't she?
It's self respect. As a princess you deserve it 🙂

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