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Author Topic: Boys getting married younger?
Bracha613

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Post Boys getting married younger?
on: March 12, 2013, 7:29 PM

I find it interesting that with all of the talk about boys getting married younger nobody talks about girls getting married older. Why do you think that is? If girls would get married later they could work on getting a better job and they would not have to depend so much on her parents. What do you think?

thinkingBY-
girl

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Post Re: Boys getting married younger?
on: March 12, 2013, 7:46 PM

Well, one point (among many), they say that the further a girl gets from formal education, ie. high school and seminary, she slips further from the hashkafos she was inculcated with. The challenges get harder as she sets out into the real world with much less ruchniyus support...hence the reason to get married at the closest possible time from seminary graduation. A guy has the yeshiva system to fall back on however old or young he is.

atararox

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Post Re: Boys getting married younger?
on: March 12, 2013, 8:11 PM

i tot agree with that thinkingbygirl. unfortunsatley i know quite a few girls it happened too...

Bracha613

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Post Re: Boys getting married younger?
on: March 12, 2013, 9:12 PM

Idk I'm sure there is away around that. Why can't there be like an extra two years of seminary which can have college courses ect.

basyisroel

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Post Re: Boys getting married younger?
on: March 12, 2013, 10:33 PM

What would be the point in girls starting shidduchim later? Girls already have a hard enough time finding a shidduch

feigy123

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Post Re: Boys getting married younger?
on: March 13, 2013, 5:06 PM

Quote from basyisroel on March 12, 2013, 10:33 PM
What would be the point in girls starting shidduchim later? Girls already have a hard enough time finding a shidduch

I think that was speaking to the theory that the cause of the shidduch crisis is the age gap between men and women when they get married. If the girls would wait until 23 and then marry 23 year old boys, there would be no age gap.

And the girls would have degrees, or careers already. And have money saved up.

And not want to marry learning guys anymore...

Shaindy

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Post Re: Boys getting married younger?
on: April 13, 2013, 10:29 PM

Anyway, so I was reading one of the weekly publications and it has a response to this question from one of the people involved. Here is what he said: "There is no way in the world girls will agree to delay getting married. You have to bear in mind that nobody today has the power to make a binding takanah. What the gedolim/roshei yeshiva can do is encourage certain behaviors/ norms. The girls will have no incentive to follow a suggestion to get married later and have every reason not to. "She" (she being every girl out there) knows that there are not enough boys to go around and by delaying starting the shidduch process she is only making it more difficult for herself."
What do you think? I personally wouldn't have wanted to wait, but is there really no way to get girls to get married later???? Would saying that girls and boys should both marry at 21 really not work? Just curious what you all think.

bitachon

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Post Re: Boys getting married younger?
on: April 15, 2013, 12:56 AM

i also thought of the idea of girls waiting even till age 21.
if everyone does it and is accepted it could be done, however the likelihood as most of you mentioned is prob nil. As someone who finished her degree, and has frnds who got married while in college and others once they graduated...getting married after graduating DEFINITELY has it many benefits. If one is a shtark girl to begin with it is unlikely to fall so much just because she is single. Many of the girls who fell, weren't strong before but hs and sem kept them within a certain boundary.
it is known that there are many broken engagements and divorces of young couples. Unless boys are prepared better and earlier should they start shdduchim earlier. Also not going to Israel doesn't solve any issue because the boys could go to Israel a year younger. Maybe lakewood should "disconnect" the freezer!

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