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Author Topic: Welcome!
Aviva B
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Posts: 16
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Post Welcome!

Hi All!

My name is Aviva Blumstein, and here in this forum I'll be discussing some of the questions that you've sent in. Please feel free to comment and respond; we learn the most from bouncing ideas off each other.

A little about me:

I live in Eretz Yisrael, in a little town just north of Yerushalayim. Close enough to get in easily by bus; far away enough to be "out-of-town" and have a gorgeous view out my window.

I'm currently involved in helping not-yet-married women frustrated with the shidduch search to develop a growth-oriented approach to dating, iy”H bringing a successful marriage closer, and avoiding burn-out along the way. I give workshops and work with women one-on-one. I also write about these topics on my website, http://navigatingtheshidduchcrisis.com.

Wishing you all hatzlacha in your shidduchim and in the rest of life - and looking forward to getting to know you!

All the best,
Aviva

Miriam

Dating Maven

Posts: 51
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Post Re: Welcome!

Dear Aviva,
I am having a hard time and I am really hoping that you can help me out. I have a problem defining the difference between Hishdadlus and Bitachon. I will first explain to you my background so that you have an idea where I come from. I am the 8th and the youngest in my family. The oldest two are girls, five boys and then me. Everybody is married except myself. I am 23. My mother is the chilled out type of person and she feels that it will just happen..I mean she feels that when the right time will come the right person will redt me to my bashert. I feel very differently. I feel that we live in tough times and yes, I do believe that there is a shidduch crisis. I feel that it is crucial for every single girl in the parsha to do whatever she needs to do to "put herself out there" and get her name around. It can mean networking to find out names of shaddchanim who work with her crowd, sending her resume to dating websites or even calling shadchanim once a week to let them know that the single is still around. My mother doesn't even believe in the whole resume things. I am upset at my mother inside and feel that she is not doing enough for me. I have told her this before and she laughs it off telling me that I am still young and I am being overly anxious. I do not know how involved my mother was back when my older sisters went out because I was way too young. I do know that one got married at 18 and the other at 20. I also realize and believe that times were different then and things were easier. With all that said I want to know if I should be stepping up and doing what I need to be doing to get things rolling. One more important and very upsetting thought is that I only went out once! I have officially been dating and wanting to get married since I returned him from seminary! I feel like I am being pulled in two directions..one side tells me to step up and take control of the situation. My mother is outdated and she doesn't know what girls need to do these day. The other side tells me that she married off my other siblings (mostly boys though and things are different by them) lots of people know me and I should just sit back and relax. And so, that is my struggle. If you can advise me as to what the right thing to do is I would feel so much better so that I Can be confidant whichever way I decide to take this. Thank you sooo much!
Frustrated in shidduchim

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