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Author Topic: My 11th date!!!!
heyhey

Dating Maven

Posts: 191
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Post My 11th date!!!!

So i just came back. (don't worry i called mentor and spoke with my mother b4 coming onto inshidduchim....) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Fist he dropped his keys. I did not realize he dropped it and thought he was kneeling down to propose.. So in my head i was thinking i am just going to say "NOOOOO! "

He asked me where I am holding as we pulled up to my house (smart, no?) ? I said I do not know. He asked me if i thought i wld gain more clarity by going out again. I was quiet for a long time....i even put my head down (ouch!) then i said i dont think so. He said he understood and it was a positive experience for him. (at this point i totally did not realize that he was going that way that he was basically ending the date)

now it is over.

not sure how i feel. relieved or a missed opportunity. i feel like crying. which is funny cuz i just stopped crying! I guess its all 4 the best...

feigy123

Dating Coach

Posts: 553
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Post Re: My 11th date!!!!

You'll go through a lot of emotions before you are able to make peace with it. It is always really hard, and I'm sorry you are in pain.

Sari

Dating Maven

Posts: 181
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Post Re: My 11th date!!!!

Oish!

Miriam

Dating Maven

Posts: 51
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Post Re: My 11th date!!!!

How painful! Did you know that he was holding there? It sounds like it all just happened too quickly but at the same time it was the 11th date already! I think the best thing to do right now is get yourself busy with something..either a chessed project or just do something fun for yourself..or treat yourself to something. And you deserve it for all that you invested in this shidduch. May you find the right one really soon!

Princess-
Lea

Dating Pro

Posts: 223
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Post Re: My 11th date!!!!

If you are not sure either way, it seems like you made the right move. If you were crying through the dating process and have now stopped, it would seem you are in the clear. It is not fair to either of you to push for something you were not happy about. I am guessing relief will soon outweigh disappointment. Get yourself something shiny. 🙂

dancer90

Dating Pro

Posts: 208
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Post Re: My 11th date!!!!

this sounds exhausting and overwhelming! i wish i cud give you a huge hug and tell you its all ganna be ok....Dating is downright torture! but i think you can feel pretty secure that you did the right thing!!!! in the mean time splurge on something big, go out with friends and have fun and cry your heart out to hashem ...those things tend to help! hope you find your zivug ne'eman very very soon and all this pain will be forgotten and gone with the wind!!! 😐

thinkingBY-
girl

Dating Coach

Posts: 607
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Post Re: My 11th date!!!!

Wow, I'm sure this isn't easy for you. As much as you weren't sure about the whole thing, it must have been exciting to have progressed so far in a shidduch. It hurts when it ends, regardless of the fact that it was ultimately your decision and it was because you couldn't see it going. You'll probably second guess yourself, feel sad, maybe even angry...all this is normal! Let yourself be sad and experience all the other emotions. Talk about it, cry about it, etc. Don't bottle it up or refuse to let yourself feel it. It's healthy, and part of the process you need to go through to get over this. While you're recovering, remember that Hashem makes a great confidante, and don't forget to take care of yourself. Treat yourself to something you've been wanting, hang out with friends, get rid of everything that reminds you of him, and stay active. Hatzlacha!

gold

Dating Maven

Posts: 77
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Post Re: My 11th date!!!!

Oh wow, so much drama! I feel for you, I know exactly how you feel (I went thru almost same exact xperience recently). If you feel relieved, thats a good thing. The thought that comforted me the most was that even though i thought "we couldve made it work", at this point in the dating process (11th date), if it didnt work out by itself, it's not gonna work - hope u get what im tryin to say. And like other posters here have written, the best thing you can do for yourself is let out your emotions (speak to good friends about it), and pour out your heart to the One who hears & understands eveything that you are going thru!

inshidduch-
im613

Dating Maven

Posts: 155
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Post Re: My 11th date!!!!

am i the only one who thinks that maybe it's not completely over yet and u just need more time to think? i know thats a wild idea but could be the case......
hatzlocha

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